August 11, 2009

Sinfully Unwed

|

My BH and I are quickly becoming the last holdouts in our group of friends who remain sinfully unwed.

It's kinda great.

Don't get me wrong... We're big fans of weddings. We like to dance and dress up and watch our friends make out in front of their entire extended family. We just don't really care whether or not we have our own shindig. I mean shit, we've been together for nearly a decade now; I don't think marriage is going to change much for us at this point. I'm sure it will be a great party if we ever get around to it. We like us some parties.

Generally, our friends have been totally cool with our decision. They know us well. They know my own parents never got married, so I was never raised thinking it was something I had to do. They know I'm completely disinterested in diamond rings. They know my BH is a fairly non-traditional dude, and that we both like to mess with conventions.

But we do get the occasional comment.

A couple months ago, it was my BH's mom. In passing, she said, "You know son, you're not getting any younger. Don't you think it's time you got married?"

Funny, I thought he was getting younger! Sneaky bugger.

Then, my BH's cousin. "We're renting a temple in India in 2012 for a celebration. Why don't you both come up for it, and you can just get married while we have the hall booked?"

Woot, a discounted wedding chapel!

From some of our immediate friends, our decision is treated more like laziness on the part of my BH. As though he should really get his act together and buy me a fricking ring, right? Because that's what I'm interested in.

How quaint.

This morning, we chatted about it briefly, because it can honestly get a little frustrating. Our marital status is just not that interesting, and we are always surprised people seem to care about it enough to make pointed remarks (Ironically, the more people bug us about it, the less we want to tie the knot...).

I suggested we just never get married to keep people guessing, but I think our next plan is better. Maybe I'll start a blog called "Still No Ring" and spend my days lamenting how my BH will never commit.

Day 1: Woke up and did not get a ring. *sniff*
Day 2: Made big breakfast with the hopes of getting a ring. No such luck.
Day 3: I WILL DIE A SPINSTER.
Day 4: Got ringworm while traveling.... The irony!
Day 5: Found a plastic ring in the cereal box. Do you think it's a sign?!?
Day 6: BH got down on one knee, but then I noticed he had just thrown his back out.
Day 7: Dog ate my plastic ring and crapped it out on his walk. Dreams dashed.
Day 8: I WILL DIE A SPINSTER.

HAH!

It would probably get old fast, but man, even if I only did it for a week, it would be worth the laughs.

Can you suggest any other tongue-in-cheek blogs I should start up while I'm at it?

8 comments:

Bob said...

Why don't we start a monogamous sinners' webring. Cath and I have two decades of sin under our belt.

Lynn said...

I love your spinster blog idea. It's hilarious. Add another few thousand words and you've got a chick lit novel on your hands. It'll make millions!

In my experience, "Why don't you get married" is really code for, "Why don't you have kids?" Just offer them Morty to fawn over and they'll forget about rings and veils!

julie said...

Fear not, even if you do *finally* get that wedding ring you so desire, the comments on your life will never end.

First, you think you've satisfied "them" with a wedding, but nooooo, now it's "when are you going to have a baby - you're not getting any younger"

... then you have a baby and it's ... "baby needs a brother or sister - you're not getting any younger!"

Sometimes I just feel like shocking people and saying something really awkward like, "Well, we did want another child but since I'm dying of a terrible disease, we didn't think it'd be a great idea right now." :)

Hannah said...

I hate the pressure that people put on you to 'get married, raise a family, bla, bla'. Everyone is different and has different ideas as to how they want to live their life. So good on you for sticking to your guns! :)

We sometimes get asked when we'll have kids and I usually respond.
"Oh we already had children"
And they'll say "Really?! When?"
"Three years ago starting with our oldest cat and then we adopted two more animals-One of whom talks to doors while the other eats coins and used kleenex" LOL

Stella said...

Bob: Two decades! You're a real pro. Good job.

Lynn: I often hand over Morty as a compromise... They especially like it when he rubs his bum against their legs.

Julie: Shocking indeed! Maybe I should just start biting people when they ask me silly questions. That should get the message across.

Hannah: My "kid" humps male dogs in the face. Pretty cool, no? ;)

La Canadienne said...

As a hopeless romantic who does feel a lot of pressure to get married some day, I say who needs it! You and your BH are one of my favourite couples (that sounds creepier/weirder than I want it to) and have an incredibly functional relationship. Who needs added stress of wedding planning? Although, apparently your family will do it for you... And parties are fun!

Nat said...

Monogamous sinners. I love it.

We're not married. People just assume we are because we have a child. That's fun. Then they assume The Boy was a "mistake." (Wrong again.) It never ends...

It's odd really. Not married. Might do it on our 50th anniversary. I don't really understand it... oh well... to each his own.

Shawna said...

You should come to Toronto in the winter and see my friend David Hein's amazing fringe play...which is no longer a fringe play, it's a ohmygoodnessMirvishProduction.

My Mother's Lesbian Jewish Wiccan Wedding: http://news.yahoo.com/s/playbill/20090811/en_playbill/131860