Hella Stella

HAHAHA. Sometimes I get a kick out of the things that pop up in my stat counter.

Did you know that my main source of new readers continues to be people who search for "sexy firefighters"? Just now, someone came to my site via Hicksville, New York. I can't believe that place actually exists! Too funny. Occasionally people want to find a step-by-step guide on how to bathe a bulldog.

Here are some other good ones, complete with answers:

What do you do with kishka?

You eat it and then tell your Bubbi how much you love it.

Beaver burgers!

I don't remember writing about these. Perhaps I was making a dirty joke?

Uranus is dark and icy...

I'm sure you're talking about the planet, sicko.

The fastest way to become a paid songwriter.

Wow, did you ever come to the wrong place. Please refer to all my posts about musically-incurred debt...

Where can I get bumpits?

Just steal one off the head of the most stylish girl in the vicinity! It IS the new Snuggie, after all.

Stat counters are for so much more than tracking stalkers, my dears.


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In other news, Morty continues to melt the hearts of Very Tough People.

He always slays bulky construction workers, who look intimidating until he catches their eye, and then it's all "Oh hi my squishy little baby! You want a bum rub? I'm rubbing your buuuuuuuuuummmmm!"

Last night, my BH disappeared for ages with the pup, and I was actually starting to worry about their whereabouts. When they finally came home, my BH told me that a cop car had pulled to the side of the road, lights on, to play with Morty. The tough lady cop also had a bullie, and wanted to give Morty some police-style loving right then and there.

Can't blame her. He's such a charmer. Apparently he took advantage of the situation to relax on the hood of her car.

Morty, that is. My BH is a charmer, but he's not partial to lounging on cop cars in a full spread eagle. Morty has no shame!