Hella Stella

I read a lot of blogs, and on those blogs I keep hearing people say that they are ready for spring.

Ready for spring? Ready for spring??

I'm going to hope that the people writing such things live in a warm part of the US, because I am just hunkering down for winter. January is going fast, certainly, but February and March have yet to arrive. I suspect they will kick our collective asses.

I guess what I'm trying to say is.... I can't think about spring yet. Too soon.

Speaking of hunkering down, the new album seems to be shaping up around a theme of hibernation. I like that. I also got a sneak peek at my new press shots, and I am super excited to get the finished product in my hands. According to my BH, I look angry in them. Great! This album already feels a lot moodier than the last one, so bring it on.

I'm also *tentatively* talking with someone about redesigning my web site. I say *tentatively* because I don't want to jinx the process... Do you know how hard it's been to find a fully-trained web designer? Good lord, if I knew there was such a shortage, I would have gotten myself trained up ages ago. Fingers crossed that they are cool, and that I can afford their services.

This weekend I plan to clean the house. For some reason, I have trouble motivating myself to do serious cleaning on weeknights. I'm saving it all up for Sunday, I guess.

Have a good weekend!

It's really winter this time.

We had a drastic thaw not long ago, and although I'm not a huge fan of the cold, I found myself missing the snow. Part of that was because I prefer full-on winter over transition weather, but I also don't like how messy my yard gets when it's wet with no snow.

A section of the canal is even opening this weekend! (Not this section, just so we're clear)




Although I've nurtured a lifelong hatred of winter sports, I do plan on buying skates, and I also hope to learn cross-country skiing. We'll see if either of those things happen this winter.

This is a print I bought for Shawna, gave to her, and then bought one for myself because I liked it so much. Now we're art buddies.

I kinda want a spoof version that says "Do WHO you love," but that's just me.

In completely unrelated news, it feels so good not to be gigging right now. I've got something booked for April, but unless I get an irresistible offer, I'm going to stay away from shows for the winter. There's plenty on my plate without gigging - I've got an entire recording program to learn, not to mention a whole lot of songs wanting to be written. Oh, and an album to record.

What was I thinking?

Anyway, it's probably a good way to spend the winter. Maybe I'll spend every winter recording an album. I hibernate when it gets cold, so it might actually be the perfect winter activity.

Huh. I love brainstorming on the blog. Look what I come up with! WINTER RECORDING MANIA.

I'm back at work this week. It may seem odd that I took last week off instead of this week, but since I'm taking over for my boss while he's on Christmas vacation, it was a good option to rest up earlier.

I think that's actually the best way to do it. Last week was so calm, so productive and so creative. I knew Christmas was still a couple of weeks away, so I could just focus on relaxing instead of the stress of the season. If I can, I'll do the same thing next year.

Now we're in the final stretch. All my gifts are bought, but only some of them are wrapped. I'm trying to intercept some parcels from UPS, but they are making it difficult. Generally, things are under control (grumble grumble UPS).

Back to the calm productiveness of last week.... I actually wrote three songs! If you've been reading a while, you may know that I've had a long stretch of writer's block. Like, three years long. The stalemate was broken after my friend died this past summer. I wrote a song for him, and slowly started to write about other stuff. It was an odd feeling.... Like a dam had been opened. It makes me excited about recording a new album this winter. It's also a bit sad to be writing about such sad things, but that's how it goes, I suppose.

The recording itself has also been coming along. I've set up the studio and am learning how to use Pro Tools (the program I'm using to record with). My mic is working, my fancy new headphones are getting lots of use.... It's pretty fun. That being said, I'm going to need to improve a whole fuck of a lot if I'm going to record this album myself. So far the recordings sound distinctly (and understandably) amateur.

I'm thinking of starting either a Youtube or Vimeo account to post some of my new songs. Question, dear readers, music-types especially: which should I go with? Youtube is all over the place, so that's good, but Vimeo is sleeker. If you were making an account for promotion and to stay in contact with fans, what would you use and why? I'd love to hear your pros and cons.

Thanks honeys!

So many good things have happened this weekend. It makes Morty's enthusiastic and repetitive puking a little more bearable.

Aaah, Thanksgiving weekend.

Today is one of those days. One of those GOOD days. I woke up and the sun was shining. No small bulldogs (I'm looking at you, Frida) woke me up at 4am to have explosive poo in the yard. Breakfast was yummy. I got part of my energy rebate in the mail. Did I mention the weather?

Also, last night fulfilled my longstanding craving for good Ethiopian food, as my BH and I went to a birthday dinner at Horn of Africa. Damn, I could eat there every night.

AND THEN? I got a phone call that my bed frame is ready, and will be delivered next week. No more sleeping on the floor, albeit on a giant fucking mattress.

PLUS?? Frida's reacting so well to her steroids that her itching and swelling has decreased by about 90%. That's pretty astounding.

AND???? Apparently CBC Radio played one of my songs this morning. I love you, CBC.

THEN???? My stove finally sold on Craigslist. Thank fuck.

So all in all, today is going pretty well. I'll enjoy it while I can to store up energy for those bad days.


For those of you who like stories where I embarrass myself, or for those of you who wonder why I say I have a potty mouth, I bring you: A conversation from last night.

Friend 1 is wearing a shirt featuring a fat cat wearing a dunce cap.

Friend 2: Is that a dumb cat?

Friend 1: Or a cat that misbehaved?

Friend 3: Or a cat who bugged the teacher?

Me, after deciding that the dunce cap looked more like a party hat: I THINK IT'S A PUSSY WHO LIKES TO PARTY!

*crickets*

Keep in mind that I had never met some of the people at the table. When somebody finally responded, they cleared their throat, and said, "Well, at least that's legal now."

Hope you are all having a lovely autumn day too.

I'm in a funny place right now. I think the changing season is responsible. I spend most of my time in la la land, dreaming about autumn, walking through autumn, cooking with fall foods.... Seriously dreamy. Just don't ask me to do any heavy thinking.

Over the past month, our house has really become our home. We went from ordering take-out every night to making elaborate curries, canning, baking cinnamon buns and cobbler. Our new mattress came and we've been sleeping so much better; sure beats the groggy nights we spent surrounded by sawdust. Since we bought the television, we've been able to sit back and watch our favourite movies with the dogs on our laps. Our lawn sorta kinda came in. Actually, let's not talk about that.

We're already planning nights to bake pumpkin pies. I'm pulling my sweaters out of storage. My scarves have gotten some use. The entryway is muddy and full of leaves. We bought a rake. The neighbourhood smells like a wood stove.

This really is the best time of year.

Since my uncle passed away, two strange things have happened. I called my grandmother and her machine picked up. A familiar voice told me to leave a message. I forgot my uncle had recorded himself on the answering machine.... Now every time I call my grandmother, part of me wants her to pick up right away, and part of me wants to hear the message again.

Then, I was cleaning out my e-mail, and I found a message from my uncle that he sent me in August. He wished me all the best with the house, and told me to keep in touch. It's been hard to process his death because it happened so suddenly, but I really miss him. It's just strange to think that I'll never see him again. I guess that's the thing about death. It's... Strange.

In happier news, I've booked two shows for October. I was going to book more, but I think I've lost the urge to gig constantly. Now I just want to play shows that fit what I need, instead of taking everything that comes down the pipe. Maybe I'll lose some good opportunities this way, but it makes me feel calmer.

Here are the gigs.... I'd love to see some of you out there! It will be a meet and greet of sorts, or if we've already met, it will be a good time to listen to music and drink beverages of your choice. Bring your friends too!

Friday, Oct 22, 2010
Raw Sugar Cafe, Ottawa
With THE AMAZING Shawna Caspi
$6, 8:30pm

Friday, Oct 8, 2010
Cafe Dekcuf, Ottawa
With Great Bloomers and Kalle Mattson
$10 advance, 9pm
Tickets available at Vertigo Records or www.ticketweb.ca

It's fall!!!! I am so relieved this summer is behind me. It's been a big one: we bought and renovated a house, my BH graduated, we got a second dog.... But MAN am I glad to move forward.

Mostly I'm just glad I don't have lay any more wood floors. Never again.

This weekend we're going to try canning for the first time. I don't know what to start with, and I only have a book to guide me, but I'm really excited. Maybe apple sauce is nice and easy? Does anyone out there have advice for a first time canner?

We've also managed to save enough money to buy ourselves a television. You know, after we gave our other one away so we didn't have to move it. In hindsight, we might have been a little hasty with our desire to de-clutter.... But now we get a fancy new TV! I'm going to celebrate by setting it up and watching some Harry Potter.

It's funny, but I never really grew up with much TV. We didn't have cable, and the reception sucked, so we opted for other activities.... And yet, I am stupidly excited for something fancy and big. And flat! With great resolution! Okay, I'll stop. For now. BUT I'M EXCITED.

This month seems to be the Month of Babies. We know so many pregnant people, and everyone is due soon. Guess I'll have to start stalking Etsy for adorable onesies again.

What are you doing to celebrate fall? Are you happy, or sad that summer is (nearly) over?

Is it wrong that I'm getting excited for fall?

I love summer. LOVE summer. I'm a hot weather gal, through and through.

But I am crazy about fall, and in a fight, fall would pin summer to the ground with one hand behind its back.

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I've been a little off this week. My parents had to put down the family cat, and although she was sick and no longer all that happy, I feel her absence like a hole in the heart.

She was always my cat. I picked her out from the Humane Society. I was incredibly fond of her, and spent most of my days with her on my lap or next to me somehow. I haven't lived with my parents for a long time, so I didn't get to see her as much... But it still feels like a kick to the stomach.

Losing pets is so incredibly shitty. They really become a part of your life.

I guess eventually you get used to that hole in the heart.

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A definite pick-me-up is the knowledge that my new computer is arriving sometime this week. Because I'll be using it to write and record music, it feels like I'm waiting for the delivery of some powerful creative machine. Whether or not that's true remains to be seen, but I'm looking forward to the process.

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I finally updated the house blog. Mosey on over if you want to see one fuck of a bathroom reno.

So, in the past two days my dick of a landlord has turned off our heat, turned it back on, acted surprised when the pipes froze, didn't fix the frozen pipes, removed our old heater, put a new one in, and then *eventually* turned the heat back on to a toasty 13 degrees.

That man is building up some bad karma, let me tell you. Especially considering that it was -30 while this was going on.

The only good thing to come out of this weekend is that we got to bond with our neighbours. They were out of heat for an entire day, so we had them over for dinner during one of those brief moments when the house wasn't frigid.

Anyways. I apologize if things are quiet here... But venting about my landlord is about all I can muster. In the meantime, please enjoy this picture of Morty creating a drool sprinkler. When he starts shaking himself like this, we all duck.

I bought a Canada Goose coat this fall so that my wintery walks would be more bearable. It is by far the best coat I have ever owned, and I don't think I'll ever switch brands again (thanks for convincing me, Heather!).

I'm still not nuts about that thin line of actual fur around the hood, but considering that I walked 40 minutes through a blizzard and barely noticed the howling winds, I guess I'll just deal.

On my walk, I saw one guy without a hat and one guy with sneakers on. Are they making a fashion statement, or are they just dumb? I'd love to know. When you can't see a few inches past your nose with all the snow, it's time to dress for the weather. This is Ottawa! We get nutty weather! Converse will not protect you.

As I feared, December is slipping by faster than I would like. I've put off decorating the apartment because my new landlord is always coming in to do renovations, but shit, the month will be over soon. If my decorations get some plaster dust on them, so be it.

While it's nice to see the building getting fixed up, I'm getting pretty sick of all the noise. They tore off the roof the other day, and they tore up the flooring of the upstairs apartment yesterday. Today they are doing something disruptive to our hallway. They may have to rebuild a dividing wall because apparently, "It's not really a wall. Somebody tossed up a piece of wood and some drywall and called it safe." Fucking lame. Morty is a nervous mess because of all the thumping and my BH is trying to study for exams. The timing really blows.

I'm trying to be patient, but there's a big part of my brain that wants to go out and get a mortgage quote or two. I'm starting to talk to myself in soothing tones so I don't do anything irrational. Renting still makes sense, providing the renos don't go on indefinitely.

My gig schedule is pretty clear now with fall being over. I'm going to take the opportunity to book some songwriting time, and maybe a few key gigs. I don't think I'll be as busy as I was over the past few months, and that's cool with me. Gigging in the winter without a car is kinda tricky. But songwriting? That I can do.

Poor Morty. Between the reno noise and the sound of my guitar, he's going to be one miserable bulldog.

Oh, Internet!

It has been a while since I've been able to post. Apologies. So much has been going on.

On the small scale, my BH got this cute little table and chairs from our neighbour. It fits the space a lot better than the giant set we were using before. ADORABLE.



On the chubby scale, here's my awesome dog waking up from a nap. In a bandanna! ADORABLE.

Everything else?

I've been eating terribly over the past few days. A lot of sugary baked goods and deep fried zucchini sticks. I'm not entirely sure how I convinced myself that I could get away with that.... But I'm regretting it already. Saaad tummy.

It's actually been a crazy few days, now that I think back. We went bowling in Carleton Place Friday night (fun, in a weird way) and I managed to completely piss off the server at the Thirsty Moose pub. Whatever. They fed me revolting licorice-flavoured pasta. I'm bound to get a little feisty, is all I'm saying.

Saturday I hopped in the car with Heather and two other fine ladies, and we went to Montreal for the day. I kept saying naive things like, "I'm not going to buy any clothes, I'll just wander around while you guys shop." HAHAHA. Silly me. Everything I bought was on sale, and it was all practical. But I certainly did buy.

I think Montreal is messing with me. After I finished high school, all my close friends and former flames moved to Montreal. It was my emotional epicentre. I visited constantly; in fact, I wrote quite a few songs about my trips on the Greyhound. I was sure I would go to university there, but opted to stay in Ottawa instead. Partly for the program, but largely for my sweetheart. I'm glad I stayed.

Over the past few years, all my Montreal people have emptied out. They've moved all over the world, it seems, and now I'm left with this giant Montreal-shaped void. This weekend's day trip was the first time I had visited the city since everyone had left, and I won't lie.... I was weird. I'm so used to going there to visit people. Is Montreal really just a shopping destination for me now? I never thought the day would come.

Yesterday was equal parts rehearsal, cleaning and entertaining. I can happily report that Brian and I practiced the crap out of my new song, Alternative to Flight, and it's officially ready for gigs. We played it at Irene's last month, yes, but I'm going to strike that from my memory. It wasn't quite ready. We'll bust it out this Thursday at U of O.

My BH and I had invited some friends over for drinks and snacks yesterday evening, hence the cleaning. I wanted to serve mulled cider with baguette and brie, guacamole and garlic crostinis. Except that Hartman's was out of cider, and the wine booth was closed. I grudgingly opened a bottle of wine I had bought for someone else as a gift. Yes, I'm that person.

The visit was great, in the end, and our lovely guests brought extra wine AND chocolate peanut butter cookies. Clearly they are made of 100% awesome. Morty probably enjoyed the visit more than anyone else, however, because he had FOUR humans fawning over him instead of the usual two. He parked himself between our guests and stayed there all night, a dreamy smile on his face.

This week is looking almost as packed as last week. Why does Autumn fill up so quickly? I guess I'm not really complaining, but I would really like to get to bed before 1am tonight.

August is about to end. Amazing.

I'm cool with it... Fall veggies are going to start showing up at farmer's markets soon! Food is my motivation for most things. As you know.

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During the VIA sale, my BH and I made a quick decision to buy tickets to Toronto. It was a bit reckless, seeing as how we are pretty broke and will be until next spring... But hey. Going away for a romantic weekend without the puppy sounded great to us, and with the seat sale, we could almost afford it. (And dudes, we booked our accommodations through Hotwire.... HOLY CHEAP!)

Anyway, we're going near the end of September, and I'm getting more and more excited about it. Our last real vacation (minus family reunions) was.... India. Two years ago. So we're overdue. It's going to be a three day date, with breaks for Shawna hangout time.

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A couple of years ago, we had the colossal summer of weddings. Everyone we knew got hitched. Now the babies are arriving! This is especially awesome now that I have found an Etsy seller who makes baby clothes with bulldogs on them (what? function AND beauty). My BH and I are going to see our friend's newborn tomorrow night, and I could not be more pumped. Although I'm noticing lately that when I hold babies, I start to miss Morty something fierce...

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I really need to pickle some zucchini.

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Guess what? My brain is jumping all over the place today. HAD YOU NOTICED?

A few things today.

First, it is my friend Heather's birthday. Heather is one of those people I feel very lucky to know. She is an amazingly loyal and attentive friend. Funny, honest, CRAZY CUTE and knows how to have a good time better than anyone. Girl? I luuurve you. Happy birthday.

Speaking of happy...

Morty seems thrilled that my BH is back under our roof. THRILLED. He's all Mr. Snugglepants at night, happily sandwiched between us and over the moon that he now has TWO humans to drool on. Happy puppy, happy Stella. I love my boys.

Speaking of loving my boys...

Your comments about the whole "marriage" thing cracked me up. You guys are great. I promise, if I ever do have something resembling a wedding, it will be suitably quirky and well, fucked up. Like moi.

May I say something unusual?

I've given up on summer. Not in a bitter way, not really. I'm thankful for the day or two of warm weather we had. But now? I'm ready for fall.

Oh, don't cover your ears... You know you love fall! It's my absolute favourite season, for the smell of the leaves, for the food, for the temperature, for the layered clothes. Time to pass the torch to a less disappointing season. Autumn is up for the challenge.

And on a totally different note...

If you had to buy a really sexy outfit (think burlesque), where would you go in Ottawa to buy it? I could also use a wig. Help me out, peeps.

I bought myself a raincoat over the weekend. It's a real raincoat, in the sense that it's a coat that is also waterproof. One of those MEC contraptions. I haven't owned a raincoat since I was in summer camp. It's really quite thrilling!

So you can imagine my surprise when I left work yesterday sans fancy raincoat (the weather had been behaving all day), and the sky was black. The thunder was rumbling and I could see lightening in the distance. I had my work clothes on and a small purple umbrella that said "Shit, it's raining" in big letters on the side. I had no bus tickets and only $1.50 in change. Morty needed to be let out.

I walked home.

It only took about five minutes in that storm for my boots to start filling up with water. My pants were dripping wet, to the point where I had to wring them out when I got home. Half the time I didn't even bother using the umbrella, because the wind was pulling it in all directions anyway.

I do this thing in extreme weather - when I'm caught in a crazy blizzard or a rain storm or a wind storm or WHATEVER, I laugh hysterically. How could you not? There's no getting out of it, and you are at the mercy of a weather system. In a motherfucking storm. Might as well laugh.

So! What I mean to say is, if you saw a gal with a tired purple umbrella looking like a drowned rat and laughing hysterically in Centretown yesterday, that was me. Sorry if I didn't wave, but I was busy getting pummeled by mother nature.

When I got home, I changed into my pjs and watched Les Choristes. That is one good film. I might watch it again tonight. Has anyone else seen it? It's an especially good movie to cuddle a bulldog with, in case you've been needing such a thing....

My BH's time out in the woods is winding down, and frankly, it will be nice to have him back home. Having an empty apartment is a fun social experiment for a short period of time. I figured out how to manage myself pretty quickly. But Morty? Poor tyke. He misses my BH something fierce. I think it makes him especially needy, because lately I've been waking up with his squishy little face right against my cheek.

Where am I going with this post?

Oh yeah. I bought a raincoat.

I'm puttering away at spring things.

Gardening is on my mind, which is hilarious, because I have no yard or garden. Well, I guess I have a teeny garden out front, but the neighbourhood dogs (including Morty) like to relieve themselves there and ewwww, I say no to lettuce laced with pee. So, I've got no yard, and I can't keep plants alive to save my life. Still. GARDENING. I've made a note to buy some planters and stuff them full of veggies to see what happens. They should fit well in our sunny nook and it's probably worth trying, at least. Especially when there is a possibility of fresh lettuce.

Speaking of veggies, I am collecting recipes for asparagus. I already have so many, but last summer we got local asparagus in our food box every week for months. I'd like to be better prepared this time. It would be a shame to start hating on fresh asparagus just because I've cooked it in everything under the sun.

I finally, FINALLY mailed my long-overdue birthday package. Immediately afterwards, I glanced at my birthday calender and noticed that I have about five birthdays sneaking up on me in the next two weeks, including that of The Colombian. I'd better got on that now... I don't want to be mailing those cards in a month. One day, I dream of being a little more organized about stuff like this. That day will come. I know it.

My BH's last birthday gift arrived in the mail yesterday, so I'm set to spoil him this weekend.* All that fancy gifting should make up for the fact that I'm dragging him out to Almonte when we should be partying. Okay, not "dragging" per se, but I do feel badly for having a gig on his birthday. At the same time, I'm excited for the show!

Other spring things? Appointments, appointments, and booking another haircut. Not that my hair has grown much in the past two months, but I'd be down with another colour change. I'm a manic hair changer. It's a good thing I grew out of my fluorescent dye phase, or there would be a lot more terrifying hair around here. I have a thing for colour, after all. Remember the kitchen cabinets?

*Luckily, this particular package didn't announce to the world what it contained. Because you know what's not fun? Having your BH sign for his own birthday present, pay the COD charge, and read the package content list to see what the heck he was paying for. SURPRISE, HONEY.

My spike in stats tells me that y'all like weird smiley-face pictures. Or perhaps it was the pink shoes that did it. Either way, noted.

When it started pouring yesterday, I wasn't able to get the clothes off the line in time. I left them there, thinking that the rain would have to stop sooner or later. It did stop - and promptly resumed snowing. With some crunchy ice for good measure.

Sigh.

The clothes are still out there, because I am stubborn as shit, especially when it comes to battles I can't win. I guess the weather has bested me this time though, and I'll have to take the clothes down shortly (Confidential to Spring: You are going DOWN).

My taxes are in, and magically I don't owe any money. Next year I probably won't be so lucky, but man am I ever glad I don't need to fork over some cash to Revenue anytime soon. My work T4 is always pretty predictable, but since I also file taxes as a musician, I never know what to expect. The year I recorded the album I was in the red by, oh, a lot of money. This year I almost broke even. Next year? I guess we'll see. I'm not actually expecting to gig excessively this year, so I don't think the cash will be flowing into my pockets. Not terribly surprising.

Today is my BH's last official day of class. We celebrated last night by trying out a local Ethiopian restaurant. The people who run the place are very nice, and the food is okay, but the overall experience was underwhelming. In a way, that works in my favour. It just means I'll have to keep trying out Ethiopian restaurants one by one.... In hopes that I find one nearby that I love.

My Easter plans are still pretty minimal, although I do want to take out one of my closest friends for a nice strong martini. She's had a rough week and could use some alcohol and raunchy conversation to cheer her up (got your back, HH).