Hella Stella

My BH started his new job today. I'm still waiting to hear how it went, but dudes, we are officially a two-income household!! Woot! May the debt repayment begin post-haste.

In other news, I cut all my hair off. Probably about six inches gone. I feel so light! Although the longer hair was fun, it's also a lot more work. Let's face it - if I can avoid my brush and my hair dryer every morning, I'll do it. I'd much rather spend my precious morning hour snuggling the dogs.

So... Having a car is quite something. It's only been ours for couple of weeks, but man, it sure is great to be able to make plans without relying on shitty OC Transpo. I used to love taking the bus, but they earned my wrath with the Strike To End All Strikes. Hey, at least that PR fail got me walking to work.

Besides the new job and the car, I've been filling my time with:

- Counting down the minutes until Harry Potter comes to the big screen again.

- Enjoying our new (but very much on sale) couch, which fits two adults and two dogs with lots of room. Luxurious.

- Planning what sorts of tasty lunch foods I can make for my BH. It may sound weird, but I love packing him a lunch. Truth.

- Watching every episode of Vag Magazine, because it's so damn witty.

- Picking out some courses I can take this summer. Hint: they have nothing to do with any of my current jobs, but might involve power tools.

I'm also working on the next album, although mostly in the planning phase.... I'd like to find out which CD manufacturers are the best so that I can price them all out. I've been using the same company for years, and although they have been fine, I want to know what my options are.

But enough about me. How are y'all doing?

Last night I got my final invoice for the renovations that we hired out, aka, the renos we didn't know how to do ourselves.

While I was expecting the amount to be high, there's something different about *knowing* and *seeing it on a piece of paper.*

I cried for a while, cancelled a dance lesson I had set up, and moped around the bedroom. My BH very sweetly tried to cheer me up, again and again, to no avail.

Eventually he turned to the internet, hoping to find something funny enough to make me crack a smile. I think we had been watching funny videos for over half an hour before he hit the jackpot.

Folks, this is what brought me out of my debt-induced funk.

I laughed and cried and laughed some more, and although I still feel depressed about money, at least I can watch that video on repeat.

Speaking of money, tomorrow morning we get our new fridge. It can't come soon enough... That tiny leak is now a fucking lake and the dogs keep wandering through it. I can't keep up with the mopping.

Next week we get our shed, and I'm clinging to the knowledge of its arrival like a lifeboat. Part of the reason we're not unpacked yet is that I have several large items sitting in my house that should really be in a shed. This includes a large-ass weight bench, a giant wardrobe, a workshop table, three trunks, all my luggage, all our tools and a variety of doors.

I know. It's dumb, but there you have it. I want that shed, and I want it bad.

So, before I realized how expensive this was all going to be, I set aside enough money for a new computer with recording capabilities. You know... The one that is supposed to go in my recording closet to facilitate actual recording? THAT ONE. The responsible gal in me wants to put those savings towards my debt. The musician in me wants me to buy the damn computer, since I'm probably not going to be buying much else for a while.

I have yet to decide what to do.

At least it's Friday, right? I will crack open a beer and hang the laundry on our new line. I'll snuggle the bulldogs and kiss their drooly faces. Then I'll crack open five more beers. Then I'll pass out in a lawnchair.

That should lift a bit of the stress away.

My taxes are done! Office job and music alike.

In the process of doing my music taxes, I went to check my total online sales so I could add the number to my chart. Do you know what I discovered? Let me tell you.

The company that manages my site sales had switched from sending me quarterly paycheques to letting the money pile up until I choose to have it deposited. I forgot about this in the madness of the past few months. Because I hadn't signed in for so long, there was money waiting for me! Thank goodness for tax season. And thank goodness for the kind souls who still buy my music.

What else? The Large Angry Dog(s) Situation is resolved, thanks to some very diplomatic chatting on the part of my BH. That man is an angel. And now I don't need to resort to having panic attacks every time I walk Morty at night.

But wait! There's more! I was interviewed by a local newspaper, discussing the role of internet publicity for independent musicians. It's something I've talked about before, but I guess since the industry has been turned on its head, it's as relevant as ever. I have no idea when or if it will be published, but it was fun to do the interview. I guess music isn't so hopeless after all.

In that same vein, I'm very seriously planning out my closet studio. It's going to be very small, and very soundproof. I can't wait.

I'm off to drink some port. Hugs to you, Internet.

Admittedly, I didn't know what to expect from the gig last night... I had been given very little information about it, and there was virtually no promotion around town. I had low expectations, despite being excited to play at the NAC again.

Maybe it was the fact that I had no idea how the night would go, but holy, that was an awesome gig. The crowd was very receptive to my set, and they bought me out of CDs. I had brought most of a box too - pretty unexpected. I'm usually surprised if I sell a couple in a night.

Now I have enough cash to cushion the Christmas rush, and some extra to put aside for Japan. This is a much appreciated break from the norm. I was starting ot get anxious about the inevitable spending on the horizon.

Tonight I'm taking it easy. I went to bed pretty late because of the show, and I've been hurting all day because of it. I think I'll do some laundry and then go to bed. EXCITING TIMES.

Tomorrow I'm playing at this great venue with my dear cuz. And did you guys know that there's an Ottawa version of the TED conference coming to town? It's called TEDx Ottawa and it looks like I'll be playing at the after-party. Tres excitant.

In the spirit of TED, Here's the link to one of my favourite talks with percussionist Evelyn Glennie. Enjoy!

This weekend was a busy one. List after list of errands to run, a night of sexy readings and music at Venus Envy, a whole lot of people on the Hill for a climate change rally, and lots of Bones.

A great weekend, actually. My mood was a bit volatile for parts of it, but I am managing it better now. I'm going to try shutting down instead of erupting. I'm really more of an erupter, but this time I'd just rather be quiet. Jury's out on how that will work.

I'm amazed, and a little scared, that October is drawing to a close. It's okay; it's been a good month, but man, did it ever fly.

While I realize that Halloween hasn't even arrived yet, I've got a confession: I'm planning for Christmas / Hannukah. In fact, I've got over half my gifts bought. NO, REALLY.

Here's my thinking: As this year progresses, I will become more and more broke. I'd rather stockpile Christmas gifts now and leave December for family, friends and baking. I'm not over-spending on anyone, but I am trying to pick things that are thoughtful and unique. We'll see if I manage it.

Meanwhile, my BH and I are going to a concert tonight that promises to kick so much ass, I can't even explain it. I'm a little behind on the concert scene lately, so I only found out about the show a few days ago. I read the lineup, got out my credit card, and bought the tickets within three minutes.

Oh yeah, baby.

The past two days reminded me why I need to get better sleep during the week. The weekend arrives, and I feel so drained that I pretty much want to nap the hours away. I fell asleep three times yesterday in completely random places! Not cool at all.

I still got some fun things done, exhaustion aside. There were two birthday parties, both of which allowed me to catch up with some friends and consume tasty snacks. One party featured the ever-popular unexpected queer dancing (I've had Prince in my head ever since), while the other featured unexpected adorable baby cheeks.*

I also cleaned parts of the house, which is no small feat when you're *this close* to passing out on the couch. I've officially put away my summer clothes and I've taken out the Rubbermaid of hats and scarves. My BH and I did a grocery shopping at the Superstore, which is madness at any time, but especially on a weekend. Oh well. We're fully stocked up on black beans and white vinegar, at least. What more does a person need? (plenty more, but I like those two things)

Lately I've been fiddling with our finances, since this is the last year (I HOPE) that we'll be splitting one salary into a billion different directions. Basically I'm going to spend the next eight or nine months just trying to make things work: paying bills, paying debts, putting aside for a trip to Japan. Then I'll reevaluate and retool again. This is about the only time I actually enjoy doing math.

I've also tried to encourage myself to stay organized by overhauling my system of keeping lists and notebooks. I may have mentioned that I am joined at the hip to my notebook. It's a hard cover, lined, ring-bound book and I keep track of my life in it. Recently, I decided that I could change my unmovable system, which I've been using in some form since high school. I needed the rings and hard cover when I was in university or shuffling between part-time jobs - this made sure the book didn't bend when I threw it in my bag, as well as letting me open the book all the way around for ultimate list access.

Now that I have a grown up, full-time job (and have for several years), I think I can be a bit more flexible. Gone are the days or morning class, afternoon shift, evening shift, homework until 3am. Now I'm using a black, lined Moleskine for my lists, and a bright green Moleskine for my finances. It even sounds grown up. To be honest, I'm a bit surprised at how well it works. I was just so attached to my ringed babies, I suppose...

So... Are you all asleep? *tap tap*

What can I say? I find notebooks almost as exciting as organizational shelving. Y'all are just lucky that I don't have any more room for shelving in my apartment, or you'd probably all be comatose by now.

*I was hoping to put up a picture of said queer dancing, but most of the pictures feature my boobs or somebody's fine booty. My camera has a mind of its own! Totally not my doing! Promise!

Some very cool things came out of this weekend's broadcasts:

1. I was invited to play in the Yukon by someone who heard the show! Hey hey! I'll pursue it and see if I can swing it. That would be a pretty cool adventure if it doesn't break the bank.

2. Sold a bunch of music online. I won't have the exact numbers until my next statement update, but I'm excited to see how it went overall. It sure won't make me rich, but maybe it will buy my BH and I a hot dinner date.

3. Was contacted by my old music teacher who heard the show... I've been trying to get back in touch with her for YEARS, to no avail. Now we get to have tea and catch up. I credit this woman for making me into the singer I am today, so it's pretty cool to be chatting with her again. Turns out she's now a registered holistic nutritionist.

4. Saw my music site traffic spike. I got visits from places like LA, Washington, Japan, New York, Seattle, Texas, New Hampshire, Minnesota... As well as all across Canada. Pretty crazy. I was trying not to think about the fact that the show would be playing in the US as well, but the stats reminded me.

5. Got e-mail from family members all over the place, my favourite being a message from my slightly crazy communist aunt. She's slightly crazy, but I like her that way. She said my voice was "waifish" but "dangerous at the same time," which is good, because that means I'm "messing with gender norms." Good to know.

6. My BH made me the World's Greatest Scrambled Eggs (suggested by Julia's hubby, thanks!). He later made me onigiri, which I think he has finally mastered. SO GOOD. We spent a large chunk of the weekend eating and drinking, including a charming dinner at Zen Kitchen with some local bloggers. Cheers to Hannah, Julia, Milan and Real Grouchy!

There were a variety of other highlights, but this would be a very long post if I went into each one.... Basically, it's been a really memorable weekend, and I'm very pleased with how things turned out.

Funny, but a similar thought keeps popping into my head: I'm so glad that I went into debt for this album.

No, really.

I hate debt, yes, but making this album slowly and professionally is the only reason it's still carrying me today. It's been three years! Three years since that CD release party. As much as I would love to be able to record again soon, I'm thankful that I have a quality album under my belt for now. Thank goodness I over-spent, gave countless hours over to the studio, went a year on low sleep and funds, and was such a tight-assed bitch about the details.

Three cheers for throwing caution to the wind!

Today is my BH's first day of classes. First day of the last year of his degree. It's going to go by so quickly, and we both know it. (Congrats babe!)

Actually, the faster the better. I think we're both pretty excited for spring. Which seems silly, right when fall is getting so beautiful, but there you have it. I'm looking forward to the thaw. I'm a bit fixated on it.

We have a bunch of plans, post-degree. Some are pretty informal, but some are definite.


We'd like to go to Japan to visit M-A.

We'd like to buy a car. A used one, but something that will help us take more trips and allow us to bring Morty along.

We'd like to attack my BH's student loans with the ferocity of a thousand lions.

We'd eventually like to buy a house.


The other plans are less certain, but we can focus on these.

I also have some personal goals that are slightly less grand than the ones I listed above.


I'd like to learn how to can food.

I want to perfect the Korean breakfast pancake.

I'd like to take some carpentry classes.

I'd also like to get a fancy-ass computer so I can do more home recording.


Funny how I just slipped that last one in there.... ;)

Anyways, here's hoping that my BH has a great final year. He's done so much school and learned so many things, and soon he's going to be able to put it all to use. I am so proud of him.

Have I mentioned how damn good looking he is?

Sorry... I get easily distracted.

Knowing that I will have some financial breathing room in less than a year is making think of extravagant ways to spend money.

It's kind of ridiculous, really. I'm not going to be rich when my BH finishes school. I'm just going to be able to pay the bills properly.

But anyway.

Welcome to STELLA'S FANTASY LAND!!! These are the things I would do if I had some extra dough and a muted sense of financial responsibility:

I would get me a fancy-pants mac to make recording a lot more fun.

I'd buy and learn how to play this crazy thing.

I would take piano lessons! This isn't unrealistic, as it turns out. I did manage to get a piano last year, against all odds.

I'd buy a parlour-sized classical guitar. Because I want one.

And this! I'd like this! Bam bam bam.

Maybe a concertina?


Wait a sec. All my fantasy purchases are related to music.


Okay... I could also handle a pair of these.


Anyone else have an extravagant purchase they'd like to share? Surely I'm not the only one who dreams of electric drum kits.

(Also, see y'all tomorrow night at Raw Sugar for Milan's photo show!)

Mmmm, the week is almost done. That means I am one step closer to being able to sleep in. I can't wait. My sleep this week has been spotty at best.

Tonight is Certain Sort, Pride edition. I'll be working the door on and off, so if you're going, I'll probably see you. I believe it's very nearly sold out though; there should be a handful of tickets at the door, for those lucky few.

My goal tonight is not to over-drink. Seems pretty straightforward. Tipsy is fine, but at the last Certain Sort I mostly remember taking fuzzy pictures of myself in the bathroom. Oh, and winning that DVD of lesbian boxing porn, which actually never worked in my player. Sadness. (It will still remain my very favourite raffle prize EVER)

This next week will be dedicated to getting myself on a sturdier financial footing in preparation for the school year. I will involve a lot of numbers, but I can handle numbers in a financial planning setting. It's pretty much the only time I won't run away screaming, trying to distance myself from The Math.

I wish I had something more elaborate to report, but that's all I've got. Awesome gay partying and catching up on sleep.

Funny, but I'm not sure those things go together. Like, in the least. You concur?

So here's the deal. I'm giving myself a year to get in awesome financial shape.

Yes, it's a little (a lot) overly-optimistic, considering how tight things are around here, but I've crunched the numbers and I think I can do it. My goals are pretty simple: pay off my post-album loan (yup, it's still there), pay off my credit card, be balanced by next spring.

I've got several motivating factors pushing me, other than simple common sense.

I'd like to have a clean slate when my BH finishes his degree so that we can tackle his student debt with the ferocity of a rabid mountain lion when he starts working. I can't do that if I'm still paying off my own loans.

I'd also like to have some wiggle room if I want to record another album, which will hopefully have some grant money attached to it, but still. Albums always have unexpected hiccups and I need to be able to manage them. I also want to be able to record even without grant money, although the thought of producing another self-financed behemoth makes me want to cry.

I'd like to buy a house someday, and I'm not going to get a great mortgage if I'm dragging debt behind me on my way to get approved.

I'd like to go to Japan next year without having panic attacks about money every time I take a train. That's a really stressful way to travel.

This is my grand plan. Let's see if I can do it. Jesus, it already feels like I have a giant countdown clock looking over my shoulder. I figure that I'm never going to accomplish this without being really aggressive, so aggressive I will be. Grrrrrrr.

Also, hallelujah, the Vinyl Cafe is going to play one of my songs on their show this weekend!!! I love them with the fire of a thousand suns. I actually feel a bit guilty that I don't have a shiny new album to offer them, but I think it speaks well of the old one if they're playing it two and a half years after the release.

Three cheers for the CBC! They make this whole songwriting thing feel really damn rewarding.

For a sick gal, I was pretty productive today.

I slept, on and off, whenever I needed to. That's probably why I can finally breathe through my nose and I don't feel nauseous anymore.

When I had spurts of energy, I cleaned and organized. I think my BH is fifty-fifty happy/sad when I do this: I'm one of those cleaners who needs to tear the room apart while I'm doing my thing. When I'm finally done, it's immaculate, dust-free and highly organized. But if you catch me halfway through? You wouldn't be able to see me for all the mess.

I'm about 90% done, and things are looking pretty good, if I do say so myself.

Shit. That reminds me that I still need to vacuum. It'll have to happen tomorrow, because my BH is passed out on the couch with Morty. That would be a crappy way to wake up...

Tomorrow I'm driving my mom to the train station to catch a shuttle to Montreal, where she'll then catch a plane to Italy! My dad is already there, and they'll be gallivanting around for a couple of weeks before they finally head home.

It's weird to think that my dad is in some random Italian city by himself; my mom is the one who usually takes care of planning, maps, contact info and finding food when they travel. He's only been alone for two days, but I can only imagine how it's been so far. He has a great story of doing Italian street theatre when he was a young pup, and his main job was to announce to the gathered crowd that someone important is coming. I guess he messed up the lines, because he told the crowd: "It's time to piss in the streets!"

Aw, I love my dad. Besides, any concerns I have for his safety are probably misguided, seeing as how he grew up in bike gangs and has a way of chatting people up, even in strange lands. He has some even better stories about Greece... Tales for another time?

All their Italy talk made me want to travel again, so my BH and I are going to take... A day trip. Because that's all you can do when you're po'.

I have another splinter!!! This time it appears to be made of wood, not glass. What am I doing to get so many dang splinters?

Things are still quiet on the music front, but I'm not complaining. It was a busy fall and I'm grateful for the down time. Besides, I'm finally writing songs again! Happy day! I've also concluded that I should probably sell my beautiful Thai mandolin, since I've used it once in three years. Or I could put it up on the wall and call it art, since it looks nicer than it sounds, what with all the pearl inlay... Shit, I thought I was all decided! Back to the drawing board.

My BH, myself and the in-laws went to the NAC on Saturday to see the Indian production of Midsummer night's Dream. Holy hell it was good. It was performed about 30% in English, and the rest in a variety of Hindi dialects. My BH and my in-laws giggled at all the clever jokes that I couldn't understand, but it didn't even matter. It was just brilliant. It helped that most of the actors were half naked and delicious looking. Half naked, muscly and Indian? COUNT ME IN.

Morty is doing very well. He's like a little tank, he's so strong. But he's also the most cuddly dog I've ever met, and he's been quite a snuggle-puss lately. I love to nap with him except when he re-arranges and manages to rest his nuts on my head. Not so cool. He's also started barking in his sleep. I wonder what he's dreaming about?

You know what's going well? Budgeting. We're using cash for our purchases, and we're keeping a close eye on our receipts. The rest just falls into place. It's calming, actually.

I am having a blast getting ready for Christmas, and I'm not even spending that much this year. I think my favourite part, other than the copious amounts of baked goods, is finding gifts you know the other person will love.

Speaking of which, my BH has mounted a campaign to find out what his gifts are this year. NOTE TO BH: NO SNOOPING OR YOU WILL GET COAL IN YOUR STOCKING. Love you.

That is all.

It hasn't been long since we decided to stop going overboard on groceries, and I'm already seeing a difference. We're finishing the last of our pasta. All our veggies are gone. We finished the canned foods so we could stock up on the really useful things. We've had to get creative with a couple of meals, but honestly? It's great. Maybe next I'll tackle the freezer.

Yesterday I had my first appointment with my new doctor. Technically she's a nurse practitioner, but there's not a great leap between the two, so I'm thrilled. She improved on my old crazy doctor in a variety of ways:

She didn't make me wait two hours even though I had an appointment.

She didn't tell me I had multiple sclerosis when I actually had a compressed nerve.

She didn't make me feel guilty for needing a massage prescription (she actually encouraged me to get it!).

She didn't behave like a giant asshole.

All great improvements! I'm so happy! Just think... Next time I'm feeling really sick, I'll be able to see my regular health professional about it and not dread the appointment. So cool.

Speaking of catching a bug... I am really looking forward to Christmas. REALLY. And I'm mostly Jewish. But my favourite Christmas book just arrived in the mail and I'm getting nostalgic just flipping through the pages. I'm going to try and take care of all the seasonal things as best I can, because my BH will be in final exams and won't be in the mood to be festive. Morty will love Christmas because he'll get to eat all the food I drop in the floor. And let's face it... I'm a klutz! He'll be well fed.

I have no graceful way to end this post. Um.

NaBloPoMo has begun, and I am already behind! LAMENESS!

I'll try to do it again this year. Last year it was fun and not even that tough... But I wasn't as busy last year as I am now. The excuses have already begun.

Perhaps I shouldn't even be posting right now. I have a headache that is threatening to turn into a migraine, and it's my fault I've got it. Y'see, I don't eat cheap candy and chocolate. It means instant pain, and I've learned to stay away. On Halloween, I even bought natural chocolate sweets so I would have something to snack on. But today, I unwisely popped some cheapo chocolates into my mouth and predictably, I am hurting. My fault, completely. Silly Stella!

This month marks the beginning of our budget experiment. We're tracking all our purchases, and buying our groceries with cash. Hopefully we don't crash and burn.

I am very excited about tomorrow's election. I'm trying not to think about it too hard because Cindy McCain's creepy face keeps sliding into view. Jesus, that woman is terrifying.

Work is still a bit crazy and I find myself dreaming of the weekend. I'm usually pretty good at enjoying the moment and reminding myself to relax, but lately it's all about crossing off the days. Not fun. It doesn't help that I am constantly dodging other people's shitty moods. Really, REALLY not fun.

The plan tonight:

- roast squash
- sing new song about grey days (it's a grey day, after all)
- take a bath
- hang out with my puppy, who has been a giant cuddle bug lately
- plan out next hair cut / bleaching
- dream of large arm tattoos

I have a very, very long wish list on Amazon.

It's really the perfect retail situation for me: I can take months, nay, YEARS picking out books and making sure I want them before ordering. This way I rarely get something I don't love. This is also good seeing as how I need to follow a budget and can no longer impulse book shop (a dangerous hobby for those of us who love cookbooks).

I bring this up because I have been looking for a specific book, and it's been particularly hard to find. It's called A Family Christmas by Reader's Digest, and it's no longer in print. It was the designated family Christmas book every year when I was a kid, but we got it out from the library and never had our own copy. I finally tracked it down (minus one copy getting lost in the mail and a subsequent refund)and I'm counting the days until it arrives. It's just the greatest book. Ever. I'll be gushing about it more when it arrives.

Those of you living in Ottawa are probably aware that it snowed like a motherfucker last night. Guess who has never seen snow? My little bundle of Morty, that's who. I took my chubby dog for a walk last night during the blizzard portion of the storm, and I totally predicted his reaction. He took one look at the whipping flakes and the howling wind, and slowly started backing up (this is the dog who refuses to poo in the rain). I lured him off the front step with some treats, and he reluctantly peed and ran inside.

This morning, the reaction was quite different. Morty voluntarily wandered onto the sidewalk, sniffed the snow, took a lick, and was in HEAVEN. He looked up at me and I swear he was thinking, "Are you fucking kidding me? This shit is edible? WHY DIDN"T YOU SAY SO??" He proceeded to run around like a maniac trying to eat all the snow on the street. It was brilliant.

I'm not as upset about the snow as I expected to be, probably because I have a few new hats, mitts and scarves that I'm excited to wear. It's all about the gear, I think. And yup, I'm wearing long johns today. Sexy times have begun! Making out is like peeling ten bananas from here on in.

Tonight I'm cooking my first batch of dried black beans. I know this isn't rocket science, but I'm still looking forward to it. Apparently they taste better than the canned stuff. While this isn't surprising, it wouldn't have occurred to me unless I had read it.

For those of you who didn't wake up to snow this morning: enjoy it while you can, because IT'S COMING TO GET YOU!

Owwwww. I just did my first real household budget. Owwwww.

You know, I used to be Miss Efficient. I would plan out every penny coming my way and I would never go over. Granted, that was when I was in university and working retail to make ends meet. I couldn't afford to mess it up. I'm still pretty good at making savings plans and doing basic financial planning, but apparently I have developed a weak spot since I started making office-style money:

Budgeting.

I guess I should say that my BH and I share this weak spot together. It's very much a combined (lack of) effort. We both have areas where we completely drain the bank, all the time convinced we are being prudent. Do you know how much we went over our budget for the month of October? DOUBLE. We spent twice what we should.

I honestly thought I had entered something incorrectly when I filled out my little excel chart. I blinked a few times and thought... "We couldn't possibly have spent double, right? I'm seeing things, right?" Ha ha. I wish.

We've both got to get this under control if we ever hope to swim out from under our school and music debt. The next step is making a new budget and sticking with it. I've read that the money envelope system is a good way to stay on track. For example, we would take out our grocery budget in cash at the beginning of the month, put it in an envelope, and only use that money when we need groceries.

If we run out, we've overspent. Sucks for us.

I guess it wouldn't hurt to think of some cheap and easy snack/lunch/dinner ideas. That's one of the areas where we're hurtin'.

Does anyone else have good budgeting tricks? Or maybe has some problems following their own budget? Because, I've gotta say, looking at my expenses over the past month makes me feel like a gigantic ASSHOLE.

The good news: charting all our household expenses gives me something new and organize-y to obsess over. You know how much I like that.

Completely random thoughts have been popping into my head all day.

"What would it take for me to not work at an office job? Realistically, how soon could I do this? What sort of savings would I need? What's my backup plan? I NEED A BACKUP PLAN."

"A licky boom-boom down. I don't get it either."

"My BH eats his food in sections: olives, pasta, salad. I eat my food all together: olivespastasalad. Fascinating."

"If I ever met Paul McCartney, I would tell him that Ram is one of the greatest albums ever made."

"Why does Meg Ryan look the same age now as she did when she made French Kiss? Didn't that movie come out years and years ago? ... I want to watch French Kiss immediately."


I am currently trying to calm my brain by cuddling with Morty on the couch. It's working. A bit.

Today was Accidental Parental Visiting Day. Both sets of parents came over unannounced, which was cool but embarrassing because there were so, so many dishes. Both the mothers tried (on separate occasions) to do chin-ups at the chin-up bar. Emphasis on tried. My BH is still the only person I know who can do chin-ups without making it look like a near death experience.

My mom asked me why I magically grew boobs and I illustrated the wonders of my padded bra by smacking myself in the chest. "See? I can't feel a thing!" I exclaimed. "And when I'm cold, nobody knows!"

"Magical!" said my mom.

*break while I watch Morty eat in his sleep*

I don't think this post is going anywhere, but I will leave you with this thought: Today, as I was watching the news, I felt suddenly panicked. Completely disheatened, cynical, and downright angry. I'm having trouble watching the news lately, and that's coming from a news junkie. I just can't find anything I want to hear about. I want to get me some earplugs and go for a long walk.

Anyone else feeling that way? And is it just me, or is this election (Canada) the most boring thing on earth?

I am diving into the world of accelerated savings, meaning that I am also diving into the world of budgeted living. I was operating on an unofficial budget until now, half-assedly monitoring the household spending to make sure nothing got out of hand. Now I need to do a little better. Now I need to make an *actual* budget.