Hella Stella

For those of you following the madness in the House of Commons, I will say this much.

When I saw Mr. Dion speaking last night in a badly-taped segment, sitting directly in front of a book whose spine read "hot air" (did you notice? it was there) I knew the coalition was toast. So as exciting as this past week has been, I can't say that I am very surprised by the Governor General's decision to prorogue the House.

Now we wait and see what happens.

In non-political news:

I have been getting airplay in France, which I didn't really believe until my site traffic started to spike. Yay France! You are delightful!

My BH and I bought these dark chocolate caramel things that are rolled in crunchy salt. You know what sucks? Trying to balance your cravings with the knowledge that you are fighting off an infection in your wisdom tooth. And then dealing with the guilt of choosing the chocolate. Booo.

During that same shopping trip, we set aside a chunk of our budget to buy things for a local women's shelter. Following recommendations from friends, we picked up $35 in shampoo, conditioner, soaps, toothbrushes, cake mix, and yummy granola bars. I can't remember the last time I had that much fun shopping. I think I'll make this a regular thing, even though I'm not exactly rolling in money.

Remember when I said I wasn't going to sing at the staff Christmas party? HAH. When I told my manager, he expressed dismay that he wouldn't be able to join me on stage in a duo. To which I jokingly responded, "Well, if you're singing with me, I'll do it." To which he seriously responded, "Great! Let's pick a song."

Allow me to react within the confines of this blog: NOOOOOOOO!!! I THOUGHT I WAS FREEEEE!!!

Instead I am searching for a suitable duet to sing with my boss. Something telephone or work-themed. I've gotten some good suggestions, but the floor is open to anyone who has an idea. Please keep in mind that I may be slightly intoxicated at this event, so nothing that involves complicated chord progressions would be appreciated.

A lot of buses were detoured this morning, and will be every morning for a long time. I guess that's what happens when an important bridge is found to be structurally unsound. Although I'm a pretty patient person, the thought of waking up an hour earlier to make my way to work makes me want to cry.

That's about all my brain can offer today...

So my dentist says: "Let's get rid of this infection and if it keeps coming back, I'll just remove your remaining three wisdom teeth." Then he smiled pleasantly, like he figured that would be a fun time for everyone involved.

I'm thinking I'll get rid of the infection, thanks. I love my dentist, but I don't want him yanking out three teeth because one of them is giving me trouble. The logic? She does not work.

Morty is on a pooping kick! How lovely! He refused to poo last night before bed, and by this morning he couldn't stand it any more and left a little gift next to my BH's night stand. It was an unpleasant surprise. And Morty looked soooo depressed.

Let's just say that he will be making mandatory pre-bed poos from now on. Aah, life with a puppy.

Yesterday morning I had zero things bought for Christmas. Now I have my BH, my mom, and my sister taken care of. That's not bad. Next up: in-laws, my BH's brother and sister, my Bubbi and my dad. I can manage this. I totally can.

Besides finishing up the gifts, I have a long list of things to do before the big day hits.

- Make dumplings! I know this isn't Christmas related, but I keep meaning to get it done so I'm not tempted to buy lunch.

- Get rip-roaring drunk. (It's just part of my holiday celebrations, okay?)

- Make mulled wine and Mexican egg nog.

- Assemble mincemeat and let it ferment. Consume it. Do it all again.

- Put up the tree! My BH surprised me by hooking us up with a real tree for Christmas. Considering that he's not a fan of real Christmas trees, I am super thrilled and appreciative. Now I just need to find the decorations...

- Watch both Harper's and Dion's statements on TV tonight and laugh and laugh and laugh.

- Go to my office Christmas party and avoid getting dragged on stage to sing. It happens to me every year and I am DONE people. I don't like to be the centre of attention at office functions - I prefer to hide under my desk.

- Buy winter boots and a winter coat. I technically already have both, but they didn't perform well last winter and I got tired of having wet ankles.

Whew. That's a lot of stuff. Best get started with the mulled wine thing.

1. My mouth is better! Apparently it was a pretty normal mouth sore that got crazy infected, hence the pain and problems swallowing. My doctor said it would be gone within a few days and sure enough, it's gone. YAY! I was expecting something much worse than that.*

2. All this coalition talk is boggling my mind. I think I like it. Even if this whole plan faceplants, it's fun to see history happen. Nobody knows what the shit is going to happen, and that's oddly entertaining to me.

3. I cut off all my hair and dyed half my head brown, half my head platinum. Took me three minutes to do it up this morning. Most excellent.

4. Christmas is coming really, really fast. I was putting off present-buying until the next paycheque, but I think that would put me in dangerous territory. I'll have to get on that. Like, today.

5. My laptop is back from the dead. The virus had destroyed part of the registry, so it was wiped and Windows was re-installed. Startup time yesterday was 20 seconds, versus 30 minutes last week. God, I missed my laptop.

My weekend was supposed to be productive and exciting and instead I fell asleep on the couch. FOR HOURS AND HOURS. Nothing got done. This includes packing a proper lunch today, so I am going to be eating two giant carrots and four boiled beets.

Sigh.

*BY THE WAY. When rinsing with salt, I figured I would go big or go home. As in, I put in so much salt that the water nearly turned to paste. Upon hearing this, my doctor said, "Ummm, you only need a half a teaspoon per cup, not a quarter cup per cup. All that salt may have actually irritated it further." Whoops. Live and learn.

Sigh of relief.

I was planning to write about how I totally freaked out Mae last night by gushing about her blog and, um, toys in a random pub while we were watching the election results trickle in. Except that I didn't really identify who I was. Like a psycho.

But she doesn't seem to be too scarred by the incident, so I'm pleased. I have a tendency to speak with my "inside voice" when I'm around new people and let's just say not everyone is down with that. My smiley demeanor has confused many people who made the mistake of talking to me. And then I'm like, "BALLS."

It's actually been one of those weeks where everything that comes out of my mouth sounds idiotic. It sucks. I try to say something constructive and instead I come off sounding like a douchebag. I should probably just stop talking until it's over.

As you can tell, this will not be a good year for NaBloPoMo. I had the best intentions, but this month is already trying to kill me and I will probably keep skipping the odd blogging day. I'll be frequent though, I can promise that much.

I'm still fantasizing about tattooing my arms and chopping off my hair. It has taken over my mind. Good thing I can't afford to give in.

Did y'all watch Obama's speech last night? Fucking YES. And you know what's crazy about all this? The new First Lady has heard my music and liked it.

Jesus.

Okay, I won't lie. Work is kicking my ass right now. Everyone is in a post-election tizzy and my workload had quadruplified. I'm even making up words on a whim.

I will still try to post with some regularity, but holy mother I am drained.

It's probably a good thing, then, that I don't have any gigs booked. Other than a jam-packed weekend at OCFF coming up, I've got nothing on my slate and I'm oddly relieved. Usually a gig-free future makes me nervous, but now? I will take the early nights and the extra time with my sweetheart and my gassy pup. Luckily someone just ordered three whole CDs off my web site, which makes me happeeeee.

Last night I was social. I headed down to New France with Megan and Jo to watch some furious debating. It was furious! And debate-y! Morty came along and behaved like a bit of a jerk until he finally passed out on the floor.

Watching the debate with other people made me realize something: I am an obsessive channel changer. If I don't like what someone is saying (cough cough John McCain) I switch. Commercial? Switch. Long, drawn-out suspense? Switch. I eventually settle back on the original channel, but not before taking a little walk through television land on the way. Because I didn't have this option last night, I spent a lot of time running after Morty and hanging out in the kitchen with the popcorn. It was better than listening to McCain talk about Joe the freaking plumber. I thought Obama had a nice smile, and looked a great deal calmer than twitchy McCain (who, by the way, looked so tense he was blinking with rapid-fire speed... BLINK BLINK BLINK. Why so tense, Johnny?).

The weather is delicious today and I am LOVING fall. A new cafe just opened up around the corner from me and my BH and I are doing to have a romantic coffee date there this weekend. I know it won't be long before things take a turn for the cold, so I'm going to enjoy it while I can. I'd better get out my knitting needles before the snow hits.... My urge to knit is tied predictably to frigid weather.

Just for a laugh, this popped into my head when McCain was going on about his energy plans last night. I had to stifle a giggle.

Chatting with LC last night before she caught her plane back to Halifax, I demanded she post more news about her wild adventures in university.

"What about YOU?" she shot back. "I need more pictures of Morty. Think about my needs!"

So tonight, after dog park-ing, supper-ing and vote-ing, I will upload some fresh puppy pictures*, as well as some shots of the copious amounts of food I ate this weekend. I fear I ate the equivalent weight of a small child. Still, it was a lovely Thanksgiving. Nice weather, a phone call from The Colombian, and a crapload of sleep. All a girl needs.

Speaking of the vote... While I am relieved this election is drawing to a close, I know it's possible/probable we will have another one soon. I quite like the idea of minority governments aside from that frequent election problem. Booo. Federal politicians, you bore me. Thank goodness I love my current MP and don't have to think too hard about who I want to vote for. Although it's always a bit surreal when the results come in and we're stuck with a whole new set of ministers...

My project for this week is to assemble my new coat rack** and transform my current coat area into a drying area instead. Unless I magically get together the money to buy a dryer, I need to improve my drying rack situation before it threatens to engulf my entire apartment.

Can I share something with you? I am getting very, VERY excited about some projects that are brewing in my mind. Not that I can go into crazy details, because I don't have any, but here are the words that keep bouncing around in my head (note, they are not all for one project. we're mixing and matching here):

drum sequencing
workshop
power tools
shiny new mac
shelving!
small business
gibson
sex

I realize that list may sound a bit random, but someday I will finish my grand plan and share it in its entirety. It's going to be highly attractive.

* Oh! Oh! My mother-in-law bought Morty a shiny purple rain coat and (I'm not kidding here) DOGGY BLING. There is photographic evidence, much to Morty's dismay.
**Yah, I know the site says it's a hat rack, but it's not fooling anybody. Who buys this thing with the sole purpose of hanging their hats? Nobody, that's who.

You know what's a bad idea? Staying up until 2am on a weeknight. I am fricking wiped. Everything is blurry and my teeth hurt.

Still, the show at the Black Sheep was great. Rozalind had the whole place decorated by the time I got there - we're talking Christmas lights, pretty material and candles. We had improvised jam sessions with glockenspiels, percussive frogs, accordions, banjos and TWO cellos. Indie films played on a screen behind us. It was a unique experience, and totally fun.

As usual, I couldn't tell if the audience found me offensive or funny, but that didn't stop me from yammering on. One dude came up to me at the end of the show and shook my hand so enthusiastically that I thought he crushed my precious fingers. Erin B. and her hubby came all the way out for the show (thanks!!) and I got some quality hang time with Lucy the Pug. All in all, it was a great way to spend a Thursday evening. It just went a little later than I expected.

And then I didn't wake up to my alarm. Panic in the morning! And Morty was sleeping on my head, which made it hard to see the clock. Excuses, excuses.

"Hi, sorry I'm late... I just had a bulldog on my head is all. The drool had crystallized."

Tomorrow is a big day of parties, all of them wicked, which means I need to sleep sleep sleep tonight. And start drinking early tomorrow. So I can be a real jewel by the evening, of course. I picked up a bottle of hard cider at the farmer's market, which I think will do the trick. I'm also looking forward to Sunday because I get to purchase some functional items from Ikea. Nothing gets me going like functional items...

Speaking of functional - did you see? Jo is on Apartment Therapy! I love that site! GO JO!!

I have no exciting way to end this post. I was thinking about mentioning the election again, but I don't want to trigger a collective groan from all you lovely readers. Shall we think about something nicer? I'll throw out a few ideas:

pumpkins!

knitting!

sexy firemen!

sexy firemen knitting giant pumpkins! during an election!

Ack!! It just keeps coming back...

Completely random thoughts have been popping into my head all day.

"What would it take for me to not work at an office job? Realistically, how soon could I do this? What sort of savings would I need? What's my backup plan? I NEED A BACKUP PLAN."

"A licky boom-boom down. I don't get it either."

"My BH eats his food in sections: olives, pasta, salad. I eat my food all together: olivespastasalad. Fascinating."

"If I ever met Paul McCartney, I would tell him that Ram is one of the greatest albums ever made."

"Why does Meg Ryan look the same age now as she did when she made French Kiss? Didn't that movie come out years and years ago? ... I want to watch French Kiss immediately."


I am currently trying to calm my brain by cuddling with Morty on the couch. It's working. A bit.

Today was Accidental Parental Visiting Day. Both sets of parents came over unannounced, which was cool but embarrassing because there were so, so many dishes. Both the mothers tried (on separate occasions) to do chin-ups at the chin-up bar. Emphasis on tried. My BH is still the only person I know who can do chin-ups without making it look like a near death experience.

My mom asked me why I magically grew boobs and I illustrated the wonders of my padded bra by smacking myself in the chest. "See? I can't feel a thing!" I exclaimed. "And when I'm cold, nobody knows!"

"Magical!" said my mom.

*break while I watch Morty eat in his sleep*

I don't think this post is going anywhere, but I will leave you with this thought: Today, as I was watching the news, I felt suddenly panicked. Completely disheatened, cynical, and downright angry. I'm having trouble watching the news lately, and that's coming from a news junkie. I just can't find anything I want to hear about. I want to get me some earplugs and go for a long walk.

Anyone else feeling that way? And is it just me, or is this election (Canada) the most boring thing on earth?