Hella Stella

So!

This past week has been stressful, for lack of a better word. My life seems to have morphed into a scattered collection of bills, receipts, post-it notes, To Do lists, grocery lists, Christmas lists..... GAH.

Even writing about it is stressful.

I've also given up on the grant I was applying for. No time to make it good, and damned if it wasn't giving me anxiety attacks. Next time, perhaps.

To compensate, I've been taking pictures of the dogs, planning Christmas meals, and vacuuming the carpet. Repeatedly. I don't know why, but it helps.

I'm sure I can push aside all that badness and focus on a few good things.

My BH is well into his third week of the new job, and he's become a fountain of information. I think that happens when you start in a brand new field.... Your brain gets filled up with interesting (and occasionally mundane) stuff. It's great to see him doing such a good job, although having him as a househusband was pretty rad. Heh.

We've been buying stollen, my favourite Christmas cake with marzipan filling, because it's finally in the stores again. Stollen and clementines. That makes up about 80% of my diet these days. I'm not complaining.

We're going to Toronto this weekend! I've got a gig at the Free Times Cafe, and we're going to eat at our very favourite dosa restaurant in Little India. Try as we may, we can't find a decent dosa in Ottawa. I'm still haunted by the amazing dosas we ate in India.... *drool* In case you aren't familiar with dosa, there's a little bit of eye candy here.

I've ordered most of my Christmas presents. As a rule, I try to have all my shopping done before December hits, but this year will be different. I need to go easy on myself. Having the gifts mostly bought isn't so bad.

What else.... Well, this doesn't fall into "good" or "bad," but I've developed a weird compulsion to put spice on EVERYTHING. It started in the summer with a particularly yummy hot sauce, and now I go through chili peppers like a mad woman. I've started to look at food with disdain if it's not piping hot. What is the deal with my taste buds? They've gone wacky!

Okay puppies, that's all I've got. Hopefully I'll be able to post something before I leave for the T Dot.

Sigh.

There are stressful things happening at the moment that are making it difficult to blog. Maybe I'll talk more when everything blows over and the leaves start to turn.

Speaking of which, it's September. I am so relieved. I love summer, but fall suits me better. Layers, harvest food, good smells.... Harvest food. Mostly that.

Frida's allergies have been out of control, and she's at the vet right now for an allergy test. The test involves taking blood and checking it for antibodies. If you've been reacting to something, it will show up there. I had this test done myself and it's a good one. It also shows when an allergy is serious or mild. Hopefully it can help the littlest bulldog. She's so itchy all the time.

This weekend my BH and I are going to tackle our first tiling job! We're going to do the floor of the closet studio, which is a great place to practice since nobody will see it. That space is coming together slowly. I've finally installed a couple of instrument hooks, but I still need a shelf. Eventually it will be done.

My mom is turning 60 this weekend and there's a family reunion to celebrate. Sadly we can't find anyone to look after the dogs, so my BH may have to stay home. We have a couple other people to ask before we give up.

To completely change the subject... I didn't meet a lot of people I liked in university. Actually, it's not that I didn't like them, but we had so little in common I spent most of my time waiting for class to end. Through the magic of Facebook, I'm still in contact with a few of the cooler folks, and things are much more fun now that we're not all in the same competitive program. Case in point, one such person had photos of her artwork up, and I commented that I loved one piece in particular.

Look what came in the mail:

Thank you for letting me dump my stress on you, internets.

I think it culminated a couple of nights ago when I was tired and feeling bummed about the foster Frenchie. She and Morty were still not getting along, which meant we couldn't really keep her, which made me so very sad. I picked her up and wandered around the kitchen with her and whispered in her ear: "Why can't you just pretend to like my doggie? Please? Just play with him a bit and stop batting him in the face..." and then I cried all over her little head and that was that. She snorted happily into my neck.

She's still at our house... They occasionally show signs that they don't mind each other, so we're just taking it day by day. They snuggle each other at night, which makes me very confused. Why would you spoon at night and snarl during the day? Oh doggies. I don't understand your sweet doggy brains.

Some good news about the hard drive.... Most of our older pictures made it. Chunks of 2009 and 2010 are gone, but our India trip is intact. I'm thrilled. And broke. We'll be backing up the survivors with multiple drives. If any of you out there are relying on one hard drive at the moment, get another one! Avoid the trauma, my dears.

I was looking through my planner earlier, and would you believe, we take possession of the house in five short weeks. I have So. Much. To. Do. Luckily, most of it is fun stuff, like shopping for ceiling fans and buying sledgehammers and staple guns. I'm going to have a painting / flooring party a few days after we take over. Hopefully my friends are willing to trade some labour for beer and food and great music.

I wrote my first post over at the home reno blog. I'll share the link here shortly - it's still not totally done over there.

Since I'm being such a downer lately, allow me to share a funny moment my BH and I shared last night. We were watching Sabrina, and my BH absent-mindedly started stroking my head.

"You have nice hair," he said, staring off into space. "Like a girl's."

And I laughed so hard I think I scared the dogs.

Dudes, I'm stressed out.

My BH accidentally dropped our external hard drive. The one with ALL our photos. The one that we use to keep them safe. Apparently only 60% of the contents made it through.

Also?

We're fostering the world's cutest French bulldog. We were hoping she'd make a great buddy for Morty, but they aren't really getting along. Actually, they don't mind each other, but she doesn't seem to know how to play. All Morty ever wants to do is play. So now Morty is miserable. And she's more dominant than he is, so she keeps bossing him around. He thinks he's being replaced.

I hate seeing Morty so sad.

But I don't want to give up on this doggie, since it can take quite a while for dogs to figure each other out.

I want them to be friends.

It's bumming me out.

Then there's the house stuff, which is crazy interesting but FUCK there is so much to do and so much money to spend. I don't have that much money.

(And I'm about to lose $700 of it to have the hard drive info recovered)

Then? My BH and I got lost in the middle of the countryside on a back road in a rental car and the gas light came on. I nearly had a nervous breakdown as we were trying to find our way out of there without having the car die in a ditch. We barely made it.

And? My house is a mess, but no matter how much we clean, it stays messy.

And? Because my landlord walled up our back door and put a duct in the hallway, we are no longer able to get our couch out of the apartment. Sounds like a joke, right? It's not. We're going to have to leave that thing in the apartment when we move.

AND? My dog is sad.

Sorry. I'm a big ball of venty stress right now.

Times like this, I wish I had my own trampoline. I could just jump the tension away.

The good news: I may have found a house that is not being used to sell vast quantities of drugs. I'm not going to freak out yet, because I need an inspection to be sure. I'm trying to stay level headed - I know inspections can go terribly wrong. But I'd really like it to go well, you know? Send good thoughts my way if you have some to spare, Internet. Tuesday is the day of reckoning. I'm actually pretty nervous.

The bad news: I somehow managed to bag myself in the cooch this morning. It was super fast, super painful and I just rolled into a ball and cried. And cried. And cried. Then it occurred to me that maybe I'm a little stressed and that my vag is probably okay.* I eventually got up off the kitchen floor.

(Maybe I am a little stressed, but it really hurt. That's one of my favourite bits of anatomy.)

*My stress levels are also causing me to cry at the following: bobsled competitions, figure skating, women's hockey, making dinner, ruining dinner, being hungry, wet snow, bad music, fire alarms, Morty making a cute face, hot tea. This coming from a general non-crier. I need a good night's sleep.

For all the craziness that has taken over as of late, I haven't had a nervous breakdown. Yet.

We'll see how that goes as the momentum builds and then I faceplant! Ahem.

In the meantime, I'm getting very excited about New Years, and greatly enjoying my Christmas gifts. Especially the bulldog shirt.

I played a house concert this past weekend.... I know I didn't mention it here, but it was really low key and built for a tiny crowd. We got just the right number of people out and I even played some very new (and very old) songs. Stuff like that is welcomed at a house concert. Not always the case at a bar.

Anyway, the show was lovely. We (Shawna, Brian and myself) had mulled wine and chatted with the folks who showed up. High School Boyfriend even came bearing home-baked gifts and alcoholic beverages. Yay for me! Yay for HSB!

In other news, the renovations from hell continue unabated at my apartment. Well, technically in the apartment above us, but it's so damn loud you wouldn't know the difference.

The other day, a guy was in here patching up some drywall after they ACCIDENTALLY BLEW A HOLE IN OUR WALL. We had the following conversation:

Him: So I guess the renovations have been pretty annoying for you, hey?

Me: Yeah, they are pretty shitty.

Him: I suppose the sound gets really bad.

Me: The sound is bad, but I'm also pretty peeved that the roofers and contractors seem to think we can't see them peeing out the back of the building.

Him: Uh, what?

Me: Yeah, I can see them all though the bedroom window, peeing away. My apartment isn't a toilet, you know. I can't believe how many wangs I've seen in the past month. It's getting kind of tiresome.

Him: ..... UM.

Me: (muttering) Fucking wangfest.


But in all seriousness, I have seen a lot of wangs this month. And yes, I'm complaining about it.

Okay, I won't lie. Work is kicking my ass right now. Everyone is in a post-election tizzy and my workload had quadruplified. I'm even making up words on a whim.

I will still try to post with some regularity, but holy mother I am drained.

It's probably a good thing, then, that I don't have any gigs booked. Other than a jam-packed weekend at OCFF coming up, I've got nothing on my slate and I'm oddly relieved. Usually a gig-free future makes me nervous, but now? I will take the early nights and the extra time with my sweetheart and my gassy pup. Luckily someone just ordered three whole CDs off my web site, which makes me happeeeee.

Last night I was social. I headed down to New France with Megan and Jo to watch some furious debating. It was furious! And debate-y! Morty came along and behaved like a bit of a jerk until he finally passed out on the floor.

Watching the debate with other people made me realize something: I am an obsessive channel changer. If I don't like what someone is saying (cough cough John McCain) I switch. Commercial? Switch. Long, drawn-out suspense? Switch. I eventually settle back on the original channel, but not before taking a little walk through television land on the way. Because I didn't have this option last night, I spent a lot of time running after Morty and hanging out in the kitchen with the popcorn. It was better than listening to McCain talk about Joe the freaking plumber. I thought Obama had a nice smile, and looked a great deal calmer than twitchy McCain (who, by the way, looked so tense he was blinking with rapid-fire speed... BLINK BLINK BLINK. Why so tense, Johnny?).

The weather is delicious today and I am LOVING fall. A new cafe just opened up around the corner from me and my BH and I are doing to have a romantic coffee date there this weekend. I know it won't be long before things take a turn for the cold, so I'm going to enjoy it while I can. I'd better get out my knitting needles before the snow hits.... My urge to knit is tied predictably to frigid weather.

Just for a laugh, this popped into my head when McCain was going on about his energy plans last night. I had to stifle a giggle.

I figured that with the move would come unexpected expenses. There's the sudden need for certain cleaning supplies, or pretty green plates, or shelving. Lord knows how much I've spent on bullwinkles alone this past week.

It's really been adding up though, and I've been feeling anxious about all the spending. We're not made of money, and until my BH finishes school, we're working mostly off my income. I've already planned out how my paycheques need to be spent for the foreseeable future. The added financial stress of the move wasn't helping things at all.

But just now? My BH called to say that my insurance cheque came in for my year's worth of claims. $757 worth of claims. They gave me everything I asked for (rare), and I feel a weight lifting off my shoulders. Mastercard? I will get you under control after all, you tricky bastard.

I am feeling a bit better about this whole unpacking business too. We are nearly done the kitchen and the bedroom, so that leaves the front room to conquer. Painting will have to happen later this month, which is a whole other story. Of course, it helps that I have an open bottle of wine waiting for me at home. Bring on the drunken unpacking! (Hopefully I won't find the milk in my sock drawer tomorrow)

An added bonus: Moving has uncovered some long lost treasures.

- an Ikea gift certificate
- a gift certificate to the spa!!!
- my passport
- my favourite Sigg bottle
- Morty's nail clippers

The only thing that really matters in that list is the GIFT CERTIFICATE TO THE SPA. I would say it again, but I think you've got it now.

SPAAAAAAA.

It is a week of small accomplishments.

Finally, after about ten months of procrastination, I have filed my health insurance claims. I dropped them off in person so I could relish the feeling of sliding my envelope into the claims box (ooh, sexy). It was worth it.

My beloved house was rented yesterday to a group of very polite frat boys. No more strangers will come wandering through anymore! Thank goodness. That was getting to be a bit much. The countdown beings...

I returned my drum kit early, and got $9.30 back which I promptly spent on snacks. That leaves a huge space in my front room to do some packing. (Mental note: do some packing)

I have five pairs of expensive pants that I had stopped wearing because they were either a. dirty and couldn't be washed in a machine or b. too damn big on me. I bit the bullet and got them tailored and dry cleaned. Expensive, but now I can wear my pants again! Too bad they are wool and meant to be worn in winter. Woops.

Now I just have to survive the next four weeks of testing, moving and jobbing to be home free. Fingers crossed that I don't keel right over.

My brain is a mess. And you know what the worst part is? My replacement notebook for my broken notebook isn't doing the trick, and now I am list-less (pardon the pun, but it wrote itself). I feel lost.

So. Let's focus on the good. I have decided to use popsicle sticks to alphabetize my CD collection. Why is this good news? I... Don't really know. SEE? Lost without my notebook. Surely it would explain why I was so happy about this.

I've also been doing some long-overdue catching up with my Colombian bud. Having him in town is both exciting and bizarre, because he hasn't lived here since we finished high school. It's been a long time since we've been able to hang out and talk without any real time constrictions. Usually one of us has a bus/train/plane/ride to catch, and so everything is hurried. Do you know how much teasing I have to catch up on? A fuckload, that's what.* Luckily I am still way faster than him in the smack-you-in-the-chest-and-run department.

This got me thinking that for the first time in many years, most of my closest friends are geographically accessible within a few hours of driving. The friends that live the farthest are in and around Toronto. Considering how spread out everyone has been, it's amazing that we're all in the same vicinity again. There are a couple of overseas exceptions, but for the most part, we're all here.

I plan to wind down my stress this weekend, especially since my planner tells me that I have nothing going on this Saturday. Thank goodness I have my planner. Take away my planner AND my notebook? I would speak only in code and wear nothing but tube socks and bangles to work.

*Dear spell check: Fuckload is a perfectly valid word. Thank you.

Morty went to his first puppy class today.

I think he did very well, other than the growling and the boner. He is a special boy. But driving to puppy class by myself with Morty strapped into the seat beside me? Hellishly stressful. Remind me not to do that alone ever again.

Now Morty has fallen asleep on my BH, who is also asleep. If you ask me (not that you have a choice in the matter), they are two of the cutest boys in the world. Oh, Morty just upped the cute by eating in his sleep. Now he's licking his chops. Now he's grunting. Holy dang.

To drastically change topics: I've just about had it with strangers coming into my house. This place still isn't rented, and my lovely property manager keeps bringing people over in the hopes that someone will want the house for the next eleven months. The short lease is scaring most of them away, but I am crossing my fingers that someone will just take it already. I detest having people I don't know looking at my stuff. It makes me feel itchy. Besides which, my purse went missing right after the latest strangers left today, and I was momentarily convinced that I was robbed. Thankfully my bag had just been moved during cleaning. Still. They could have been psychos. Psychos with really greasy hair who were happy to chat about hip dysplasia.

I guess the upside to having random people in my house is that I clean a lot more. Today, I soaked my bathroom in vinegar and wiped it right down. Then I swept, folded laundry, cleaned the kitchen, and tidied the office. Sometimes all I need is an excuse and some time alone. Presto: clean house!