February 23, 2010

Smile, You're On Camera

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Internet, I've got a confession.

I've been writing a lot about my long, crappy overtime shifts at my day job. You all know that my brain is on a pretty dangly string. But something else has been adding to the crazy. Something BIG.

On my brief lunch breaks, I've sometimes wandered outside my office, hopped into my realtor's car, and gone to look at houses.

!!!

Yeah, I'm actually shopping for a house during what is arguably the busiest time of my young life.

Now, I'm not necessarily of the belief that I'll actually find the house I want. My BH and I have a very specific list of requirements, and so far nothing has fit the bill. Maybe nothing will, and maybe we'll put it off for a year or two. It certainly hasn't been promising so far.

But I wanted to tell you about this crazy adventure because occasionally, out on my lunch break, something very bloggable happens. I want you to know what I'm up to because real estate crazies? They are fucking hilarious. Especially when they are trying to sell their crack houses. Given the fact that I am not rich, crack houses are definitely in my price bracket.

Like today, for example. The place sounded like a crack house. It looked vaguely like a crack house. But it was in the neighbourhood I wanted within the price range I could manage. What could go wrong? The worst thing that could happen is that someone would try to sell me crack, and I would politely decline, since I am more of a beer and fries kinda girl.

Upon pulling up to the curb, I noticed that the roof wasn't completely attached to the house itself.

Not the best way to start the viewing.

Then I noticed that the "porch" was hanging to the siding by one lonely nail.

Hmmm. That's a... Unique way of marrying gravity and rotten wood. Forever the optimist!

My realtor and I quickly realized that the owner, bless her heart, had forgotten to leave us a key.

I was mentally preparing to run away screaming when I noticed a sign pinned to the door. I leaned in for a closer look.

It read like this, typos and all:

THIS HOUSE IS BEING WATCHED BY POLICE. THE POLICE ARE WATCHING THIS HOUSE. DO NOT ENTER. SMILE, YOUR ON CAMRA.

And then we decided to leave.

My darling internet... At least life is never dull around here.

5 comments:

aandjblog said...

I hope you're considering coming to the 'burg. :D

When we were looking at investment properties, we saw a lot of things. One of the scariest houses we went into was a vacant one in Vanier. Near the Playmate. No one was living there, but you just had this eerily feeling that someone 'could' be living there. I have NEVER wanted to leave a house so quickly. Let's just say, that even A. was too scared to explore the basement. :O

Good luck with the house hunt. :D

One more thing, I don't know if you have already signed with your realtor, but A. and I used a service called Aeromove. It's a referral service. It gives you Aeroplan points for buying a house. This might help you get that much close to your Japan trip. Just an idea. Email me if you have any questions.

Pauline said...

Too bad you couldn't take a photo of it and post it on http://lovelylisting.com/.

It sounds like it is made for that site! ;)

zoom said...

Ha! I know that feeling. When I was looking for my first apartment, I viewed one that had a suicide note thumbtacked to the front door.

That's very exciting that you're househunting! I look forward to hearing all your bloggable househunting tales.

XUP said...

Sounds like a motivated vendor with a handy-fixerupper to me!!(One of my first jobs was writing copy for real estate ads. It lasted less than a year because everyone there was demented)

Nat said...

We'd love to have you in the 'burg and although there are former crack houses in 'hood.