February 9, 2010

Brain Dump


I have a minute or two to write, so I'm gonna.


I like them, and I don't.

I like the way they look... I've been sporting the non-bang cut for ages, and it's fun to try something different. That being said, I am a total whiner about having to actually STYLE anything on my head, other than a quick brush and a splash of anti-frizz goo. Megan is an angel and she's lent me her flat iron, but y'know.... That means I have to actually do stuff to my hair. Jury's out.


That funeral I went to was a bit of a freak show.

I went to support a friend of mine - it was her mother's funeral. We haven't seen each other in a decade actually, but we were good friends in high school. I knew she was estranged from her mother on and off over the years. I expected some drama. What I wasn't expecting was the level of drama. Grown ups acting like children, name calling, her family basically pretending she didn't exist, sibling bullshit. I'm glad I went, because other than myself and another girl from high school, she had nobody there for her.

It made me glad that my family is not drastically dysfunctional. We're just weird.

It also made me realize how comfortable I am around old friends. People who have known me for a long time already know my quirks and my sense of humour. It's surprisingly relaxing to know that I'm not going to accidentally offend someone who's expecting me to be different than I am. I suppose I didn't really realize that I get stressed out about such things.


Typing for 10+ hours a day is already ruining my body - shoulder muscles in particular. It's only the beginning of Crazy Month. I'd better get used to it, and fast.


Last week, I wrote a long-ish letter to a songwriter who I really admire. We've shared a gig in the past, so I'm not a total stranger to her, but we haven't been in touch in years. I just wanted her to know how much I love her work. She wrote back, and she said some really lovely stuff - particularly things about how songwriters keep writing and recording when everything seems to be falling through. I think her letter has made me more patient.

It also made me realize that part of my songwriting battle stems from a lack of inspiration. I've got nothing going on that I want to write about. My love life is wicked awesome. I have a steady job. My friends are wonderful. But writing about cheerful things bores my socks off. This gives me even more reason to spend a week or so in Montreal this summer - that city gives me the creative creeps.

The End!


Nat said...

Sounds hellish at work. hang in there.

It's funny I heard a talk at one point, the gist of it was that we like our artists to be tormented... once things are good it just doesn't carry the same edge. I suppose that's true to a certain degree.

However it is much easier when things are going well...

Pauline said...

That is shameful how your friend's family were behaving! I mean, you would think people would grow up for two seconds and forget their petty fights for a funeral, but I guess not. Good for you for going and supporting her!:)

Anonymous said...

Noooo..I like songs about happy stuff. I can't be the only one who likes songs about happy stuff instead of songs about tortured romance, bitter regrets and intense loathing??

Stella said...

Nat: Yes, it's a funny thing.... I want to be happy, but I want to write songs that don't suck.

Pauline: Pretty petty stuff... I didn't even know people could act so badly at a funeral!

XUP: My songs *sound* happy... It's just that they are inspired by feeling sad. Does that make any sense?