Hella Stella

I have a bit of trouble with this whole "New Years" thing, because really? January has never felt like a fresh start to me.

In January, I'm usually realizing that I have an entire winter ahead of me. I'm accepting that I can't afford to take a proper vacation, because Christmas was expensive, and my BH has classes anyway. For whatever reason, I'm usually sleep-deprived and feeling unattractive - layering up is warm and practical, but not always pretty. Long johns are no summer dress. I'm usually cursing the emergence of slush and bemoaning the damage road salt has inflicted on my boots. I'm generally hibernating, spinning my cocoon, making tea.

All these things combined make January a bad time for me to start over, mentally and emotionally. It's also a bad time for me to try and get in shape, that go-to resolution, because I'm eating heavy winter foods and avoiding the outdoors (besides my walk to work and back, without which I would be a lump on a log).

That being said, I have no problem reflecting on 2009, which will always be a memorable year for me.

This year, my number one standout event was performing on The Vinyl Cafe. It was so memorable, so beyond what I thought I was capable of, that I've got the whole thing permanently etched into my brain. Meeting Hawksley Workman and having an actual chat with him was part of that. Baking him cookies that didn't rise and writing him a love letter on bulldog stationary added to it. I guess that show made me feel like I had a reason to keep up with music. It no longer felt futile. Somehow, my songs reached enough people that I got to take it to the next level. That will always stay with me. It was quite a feeling. By the way, you folks out in blog land really helped me out with that show, whether you know it or not. I always knew you were rooting for me, and it made all the difference when my nerves threatened to eat me alive. Those of you who I have met, and those of you who I have yet to meet - THANK YOU.

Some other memorable stuff from 2009 include:

- Getting involved with the Venus Envy bursary fund, and the subsequent queer dance parties and burlesque shows that followed.

- Learning more about my community and making new friends.

- Meeting a bunch of you at the Blog Out Loud event - that was a lot of fun!

- Drinking too much at my office party and being wildly inappropriate (I'm not saying you should follow my example, I'm just saying it's going to stick out in my mind for a while. Like, a long while).

- Watching my BH's kid brother start high school. He was such a little guy when I met him. I can't believe he's taller than me.

- Visiting my sister in Peterborough. The antique store with the stacks of vintage Penthouse may have helped out the entertainment factor a bit.

- Countless meals with my family, and getting to know my Bubbi a lot more.

- My BH and I visiting Toronto, actually staying in a hotel, and actually managing to visit a few friends.

- Gigging in Toronto with Brian and Shawna. Gigging everywhere, actually. It was a good year for shows.

- Morty and my BH, who are always such adorable highlights to my day.


I can tell 2010 is going to be a wild year. My BH will graduate. I will (hopefully) start recording a new album, grant or not. I have a secret project that I'll tell you about when I am further along with it. My BH and I might actually get ourselves to Japan.

That's a lot to look forward to. L'Chaim!