Hella Stella

4 am yesterday morning, I smelled it. The distinct and unmistakable smell of poo.

I sat up in bed, trying to determine if I was imagining things.

"Babe?" I said, poking my BH in the shoulder. "I smell poo."

"Mmmraaaagh..." he responded.

"No really, it smells like poo in here."

"Poo. Mrrraaaagh...." he said, clearly still asleep.

I began to doubt my nose, and plus I was tired. My head hit the pillow. I was out like a light.

7 am, I woke with a start. Now the stench was stronger. There was no mistaking it - there was poo somewhere in the apartment.

By some miracle, Morty was sleeping in his crate that night, even though he usually sleeps with us on weekends. I ran to his crate in the front room. I flicked on the light.

My poor little dude. Let's just say that Morty ate something disagreeable, and reacted by having explosive poo all over his crate. It had leaked out onto the floor, pooling by the piano. He looked miserable.

"Jesus," I said. "BABE! THERE IS EXPLOSIVE POO EVERYWHERE. I NEED YOUR HELP."

I threw on a few coats over my pajamas and took Morty outside while my BH put on his heavy duty rubber gloves. When I came back in, poor Morty was plonked down in the bath and I washed the little dude off.

We were scrubbing the floor for at least an hour before we were satisfied it was all gone. Morty sat in the bedroom and looked depressed.

Happy Sunday!


***

Having such a rough start to the morning was unfortunately a sign of things to come. The rest of the day was awful.

My BH was in a foul mood, most likely because he spent a couple hours elbow-deep in crap when he should have been sleeping. To stay out of his hair, I did everything I could to fill my time. Shoveling my walkway. And my neighbour's walkway. And my other neighbour's walkway. And the sidewalk. And then our parking spot, back porch and steps.

I managed to pull a groin muscle in the process. My socks were full of snow. Things could only get better.

Then I did laundry. Swept. Dishes. Took Morty out a few times. Went to Raw Sugar. Rented Mama Mia.

***

Amazingly, the day ended well. My little sister is in town for the holidays, and she came by with my parents to visit.

They all love Morty. No really, they LOVE Morty. Sometimes they call to ask how he's doing and don't bother to check in with me. We all spent a long time cooing over him, even though he was still feeling a bit under the weather.

I also noticed something. Don't you think my dad and Morty look kinda... Well... Similar?