Hella Stella

I have done the unthinkable and purchased an iPhone.

I would like to defend myself immediately. My BH and I have both had our old phones for three years. Our contracts were expired and we needed a good replacement for our decrepit Motorolas.

Oddly, the iPhone was the cheapest option of all the smart phones we looked at (we don't want a dumb phone, yo). It was the right weight and size. It told us the weather. So we both got one. An older model with the smallest amount of space, but still. I officially own an iPhone.

Mine was set up first in the store, so while the sales dude took care of my BH, I played with my new toy. The conversation went as follows:

Sales guy: (tappity tappity tap)

BH: (silence)

Me: There's no way I will ever like this thing.

Sales guy: (tappity tappity tap)

BH: (silence)

Me: Oh! Would you look at that! Stuff moves around when I touch it!

Sales guy: (tappity tappity tap)

BH: (silence)

Me: Dudes! Hey dudes! I can check my e-mail!

BH: Honey, that's sort of the appeal of that phone.

Me: I just sent you a dirty message. Purrrrrr.

Sales guy: (tappity....) (uncomfortable silence)

BH: I have created a monster.

Me: I love this thing.


So! I have exactly two contacts in my phone, I have no clue how to use it, but it provides hours of entertainment for me. Mainly through dirty messaging and checking the weather. But those are important things, so, yeah. Endless fun.

Oh... And my BH and I switched to a three-year FAMILY PLAN which I think is pretty much like being married. Commitment and all that. Free dirty messaging. Pretty much the same.... Right? ;)

It turned out to be a very busy weekend - one which I'll break down in a numbered list, because you all now how much I love that.

1. Tarts n' Crafts was excellent. My co-seller and I sold more pussy pops than we could have hoped for, and there were only two left at the end of the day. Proud! I picked one up for Zoom, as promised, because chocolate pussy on a stick cures what ails ya. Or at least, it makes the bad stuff seem a lot better. I also bought a stuffed owl from my friend Haley of Swing Low Studio. The owl's new name is VEEB (loosely for Venus Envy Bursary, I added the extra E for emphasis), and Morty wants to eat him SO BAD. I actually had to hide VEEB the minute I got home, because I saw the look in Morty's eyes... It was one of lusty passion. Poor little VEEB. Destined to live on a high shelf.

2. Hung out with two good friends from my teenage days, one of which being High School Boyfriend. Gave them both a pussy pop. Ate Ethiopian food. Discussed weddings and real estate. I believe someone called me self-important, not terribly seriously, and it occurred to me that I am far less sensitive now than I am All Grown Up. Apparently things have changed since I was 16. I care 97% less about interpersonal drama. My reaction when I was younger was often to blow things out of proportion. My reaction now is to roll my eyes and boot someone in the ass. Anyway, we're all going to be at a wedding in about a month, along with everyone else we used to go to school with. It's going to be fun, although I think I will pre-drink in case my newfound maturity trips up in the face of my entire graduating class. I may or may not have been known for flashing my bits at people with my partner in crime (Hi Haley!).

3. Went to the garden centre with my mum and froze my tits off. Seriously, it was so damn cold. We picked up some veggies for planting and then went back home to dye my mum's hair. It was a great Mother's Day activity! She looks fabulous with her new colour. Turns out she didn't start getting greys until she was past forty, and I actually had to mask my disappointment. If I'm the same way, it'll be a long time to wait until I can have the silver streak I was looking forward to. I know, I plan hair styles a bit far in advance...

4. Saw Junior Boys at Babylon. People? This band rocked my pants off. True to form, I squeezed my way to the front of the stage until I was standing right in front of the band's lead singer. I was literally a few feet away - the only thing separating us was his monitor (I'm only 5'2, so I have no qualms moving steadily through the crowd until I've got a good view - being timid about it means I can't see a damn thing). It was amazing. He has such a great voice, and he really knows how to entertain. Meanwhile, his bandmate literally just played a giant computer and looked bored, occasionally flipping his hipster hair back. The singer pretty much carried the show. I guess I can sympathize a bit... This was the last night of a six-week tour. I might look bored and moody too (okay, probably not).

Tonight I'm off to see Star Trek with the gang. I used to watch the original series a bit obsessively, but never got hooked on next gen... I'm excited to see what they've done with this film.