June 30, 2008



I am always amused by my junk mail.

Today's most awesome titles are: Stun Her With Your Man Hose and Advantageous Relief Store. You Look Really Stupid Info is pretty high up there too. Who on earth writes these titles? Are they really trying to sell something? Who in God's name takes these seriously? They make me giggle, but they don't really make me want to elongate my masculine love stick.

As you are no doubt aware, tomorrow is Canada Day. I used to love Canada Day with all my teenage heart. I enjoyed the crowds on Parliament Hill (I think that delusion stopped after high school) and I loved wandering around the downtown until I was so overcome by sun stroke that I had difficulty locating a bus to take me home.

Then Canada Day went bad. For a few years, it seemed that without fail, something terrible would happen on July 1. One particularly bad year, my grandfather died, and I had to cab home with my very drunk BH to console my very distraught mother. My BH doesn't usually drink much, but this particular Canada Day was an exception to the rule. We stopped the cab twice so he could wretch on the side of the road. He barely uttered an "I'm so sorry to hear about..." when he had to run upstairs to get sick in my parent's bathroom. When I was driving him home later that day, I had to pull over ON THE QUEENSWAY from the fast lane because he was about to hurl all over my folks' car.


Needless to day, I'm no longer smitten with the holiday. I'm happy to keep low key and well boozed, and I'm also happy to do nothing at all. This year should be fun, because we're going to hang out in the 'burbs with beers and puppies to keep us company. We'll probably stuff ourselves with BBQ tofu and then watch Morty's Youtube videos over and over. Greatest way to spend the day? I think so.

Hope your Canada Day is memorable for all the right reasons!