Hella Stella

My parents bought me a pass to the writers festival as an early birthday gift.

While I'm excited to go, I also know very little about what to see. My comfort zone is a sprawling music festival - I can navigate my way through the crowds and always find a concert I want to see. I can spend endless hours soaking in live music. I can sneak in just enough alcohol to get myself good and ripped. You music folks - you know what I mean. No doubt I'll be seeing you out and about this summer.

But how do I approach authors? I read plenty, but I'm not familiar with a lot of the writers who are coming to the fest. And which events are good, anyway? Who's going to knock me out? Who's going to make me giggle? Who's going to make me want to throw things? (Actually, after glancing at the schedule, I think I've figured that part out)

I know nothing of this world. I realize that plenty of writers read this blog - please advise! What would you see? I've been to the fest several times, but I was always the hired musician and I stopped into the events on my way to the stage. This time, I need a bit more knowledge going in. Please lend me your brain.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Tuesday night, I went and saw some really bad comedy.

I've been struggling with how to tell you about it, because I have nothing nice to say about the comic who hosted the evening. I've decided not to tell you about it in detail, because frankly, I would get angry pretty fast. Instead, I will offer some advice.

Make up an alias.

No, seriously. If you go see standup comedy and you're not sure about the comic, arrive with a fake name, occupation and relationship status. This will give you a layer of protection from some lame-ass, dick of a comic who makes his living insulting people. And when he says he'd like to see you naked just to get a rise out of you? You can close your eyes and imagine that he's talking to your alias, and your alias is right about to kick his ass into next week.

Feel free to use mine: My name is Susan, I work in high tech, and I'm single. And if the comic is a jerk? I have a black belt in karate.