Hella Stella

I seem to have hurt my hand - maybe from scrolling all day with a mouse, maybe from wrapping Morty's leash around my fingers from his walk, probably both. Either way, the timing blows, considering that I need to type extensively every day this month.

Lame.

Besides icing it and using this handy muscle relaxing cream, I will just have to ignore it and hope it goes away. A flawless plan. I can't possibly see it going wrong.

In better news, I got a card today from one of my only pen pals. I try to exchange cards with my good friends when I remember to.... But this one friend, Jude, is a real letter writing kinda gal. She and I have been writing to each other for years, and our exchanges have survived several moves (mostly on her part).

Let me tell you a few things about Jude, because she's a pretty neat lady.

- I met her at a lesbian music festival because she was stoned off her ass and looking for people to chat with.

- My friends and I once camped out in her strange old backyard that backed out onto the highway. I have always wondered who lives right on a giant highway - now I know.

- She once got in trouble at work for wearing a t-shirt that said "Dip me in honey and throw me to the lesbians." Who gets offended by these things? If someone at my work wore a shirt like that, I would love them forever.

- Her favourite things to send me are greeting cards from random charities. Once she sent me a package of cards featuring lions with rainbow manes. It was weird and cool, and very Jude.

I like getting her letters. They are always short and sweet, but so nice to read. I'm a total sucker for a nice, long, thoughtful e-mail.... But with Jude, there is really nothing like a nicely-written note.

Do any of you have pen pals? My only other pen pal was when I was in grade four or so. We all got assigned a pen pal from Italy - I think the point was to let the Italian kids practice their English, and let us practice... Well... Our English. I remember my pen pal being nice, although she once told me she got a "French-English dick for Christmas."

I guess that got lost in translation. Perhaps there are benefits to bilingual penises, but frankly, it's not a requirement of mine. (Yes yes, I know she meant dictionary. But dudes, it's pretty funny. You know it.)